A Finite Follower of an Infinitely Wise God

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."

-Proverbs 19:21

I had so many plans. Plans to be a nurse; plans to be a wife and a mom, which is an awesome gift and responsibility, but I also planned to find my happiness and completion there; plans to live a comfortable American life--but the purpose of the Lord stands firm in my heart and life and I couldn't be more humbled and thankful.

I NEVER imagined that I would be a missionary. Honestly, when missionaries would come to visit our church I thought to myself, "These people have to be insane to leave their families and their own culture and language and go to a place that is completely different. Why would they want to do something like that?" And then I began to truly learn what it meant to follow Christ and I realized that these people weren't crazy, but obedient worshipers of their Savior. And HE began to do a work in my heart to show me that His purpose was quite different than the plans I had in my mind.

I went to the Czech Republic for the first time the summer of 2006. I don't know how else to describe what happened when I stepped off of that plane other than, "Okay God, this is what you have been preparing me for." I walked into a country where I had never been before, with people that spoke a language I couldn't understand beyond 'fakt' and whose culture was completely outside of everything I was used to--and yet I felt like I was at home. I didn't know exactly what was going on in my heart, but I knew that whatever it was, God was doing something significant in my life.

For those of you reading this who have never been to the Czech Republic, I wish I could take you there with me. I wish you could see the hopelessness in the eyes of so many and yet the great hope that comes when you hear the testimony of just one life that has been completely transformed and brought from darkness into marvelous light. I wish you could feel what it's like to know that you are part of something SO much bigger than yourself, something that has eternal significance. I know that God is at work in amazing ways all over the world and I praise Him for that. But, I am so thankful that He has allowed me to see some small part of His plan for all the earth as it unfolds in the Czech Republic and that He has laid upon my heart a love and a burden for the people of this country.

I know that I am SO inadequate to be part of what God is doing in the Czech Republic. In fact, when I begin to think in terms of what I can do in my own strength and power, I am completely overwhelmed and feel like quitting. But, then I remember that the same power that raised Christ from the dead is at work in me (Ephesians 1:19-20) and that I am simply a jar of clay meant to display HIS beauty and power (2 Corinthians 4:7).

So, here I sit today, simply trying to follow my Savior. There are plenty of reasons why it would be easier or more comfortable to stay in America. But, there's one reason to go to Czech: my life is no longer my own and my Savior has changed me to be His obedient worshiper. Jesus Christ died not just to save me from hell, but to change my heart so that I might display His beauty and sufficiency to a dark and desperate world. As of right now in my life, fulfilling that means beginning the process of being a full-time missionary in the Czech Republic. I have made plans in this direction knowing that I don't know the mind of the Lord or the plans He has. I know that regardless of what plans I may make, HIS purpose prevails and in that I rejoice.

Because He is faithful to fulfill His purpose,

Emily

Crossing-out I

"And he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised." - 2 Corinthians 5:15

I am so thankful that I no longer have to live for myself. Self is the most frustrating, worthless, and aimless pursuit I could ever live for. I praise God that He died so that my life now has a purpose so beyond me. I have learned so much this summer, but one thing that God has graciously opened my eyes to over and over again is how much I view everything in light of me. I realize that as we follow Christ, there are some things that we must learn over and over again in varying degrees--the loss of self is one of those things. But, I'm thankful for God's kindness that leads to repentance and that when I am living only for myself, I have a constant aching within my soul. It's as if my heart knows that it's free to live for something more and isn't content to just pursue the next self-fulfilling thing. As soon as I begin to live for myself and lose sight of the reason God has saved me, I begin to lose heart and grow quickly discouraged--not to mention trying to serve Him apart from Him is not only impossible, but the attempt is completely exhausting.

As I was sitting on the train by myself the other day, I was reading the story of a missionary woman named Helen Roseveare. She was a missionary in Africa and had to battle self also. Helen was becoming easily frustrated and burnt-out in her ministry. One of the men in the people group she was ministering to pulled her aside and told her that they could see so much Helen that they couldn't see Jesus. Ouch! He then painted a beautiful picture for her in the dirt floor. He began by telling her that self is our greatest enemy. He then drew a line in the dirt. Referring to Galatians 2:20, he said that following Christ is asking God to cross out the "I" in our lives, drawing a line through the line he had previously drawn. If you can picture this, you know that this picture would make a cross. He told Helen that the Cross is the 'crossed-out I life.'

"It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me."

This story rang painfully true within my heart. Do people see so much Emily that they don't see Jesus? Am I trying so hard to please people and make them think something of me that I am not showing them my Savior, the one who died so I would no longer have to live for myself?

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."

I must crucify myself daily and follow Christ--leaving behind my desires, my hopes, my fears and walk as He walked. It is a daily battle and I know that I will continue to learn more about this as I grow to become more like Him. But, my prayer is that He will continue to teach me what it means to cross-out the I and that He would continue to make me feel uncomfortable until people see more Jesus than Emily.

Bohumin Camp

Here are the faces of the people you've been praying for! 

These are the faces of the precious girls in my English class.  To my left is Dania, then Aneta, Andrea (the other American English teacher), then Andrea (the one you've all been praying for), then Martina.  Praise God for the work He's done in Aneta's life.  She just accepted Christ this past year!  Amen!  Continue to pray for Andrea and Martina.  

Martin and Martin.  The Martin on the left is SO close to accepting Christ!  Just 2 months ago, he proclaimed that he didn't believe in God.  This week, he has taken huge steps.  He is talking about God's will for his life, said himself that he is close to believing, and last night he PRAYED with one of the translators after Gospel night!  Praise God for what He is doing in Martin's life and pray that Martin would take the final step of surrendering his life to Christ!

The Martin on the right told us in discussion group last night that he believes in God and that English camp has helped him to realize more about who God is!  He is very young, but pray that God would draw him to Himself even now!