Recently, I've noticed a new trend in how high school girls are dressing, simply put: wear less, get more attention. I know that there are always trends that lead girls to dressing in ways that are less than flattering; but my heart has been really heavy lately when I drive past high school campuses or see groups of teenage girls together. I am sad for them. I wish they knew that their value was not in how short their daisy dukes are; I wish they knew that, while they are getting attention, it's not from the kind of guy that will make a good husband someday.
But, I am also sad for the guys who will make good husbands someday. I am sad for them because my nephew is one of them. At 15, he has a maturity that surpasses many guys in their 20s and 30s. He loves Jesus a lot. He is kind and respectful to everyone, especially girls. And he is desperately trying to guard his heart and mind.
He is also a great catch--a sophomore on the varsity football team; tall, dark, and handsome. He really is the complete package and will truly make a girl so happy someday. But, the girls at his high school have totally missed the way to his heart. They think that the shorter their shorts and the lower their shirts, the more attention they'll get. They've got him all wrong.
So, I am sad for these girls. I am sad for guys like my nephew. And, if I could sit these girls down, here's what I would tell them:
You are beautiful. The God of the universe created you and finds you precious in His sight. He longs to lavish you with His love and satisfy the longings of your heart in a way that no human relationship can. You are worth so much more than this world tells you. Your beauty in Him does not depend on your pant size or how clear your skin is. You are beautiful to Him because He made you--He placed each freckle right where He wanted it to be; He's numbered the hairs on your head. And someday, He may bless you with a man who will be a tangible expression of Jesus' love for you. He'll be the kind of guy worth waiting for and he'll want you to be his alone. So, please don't sell yourself short on guys who really don't care about you. Don't desire the kind of attention that passes when the next girl walks in the door. Desire the kind of affection that remains even when you don't deserve it. That's the kind of love Jesus loves you with and it's the kind of love the right guy will have towards you. It's a love worth waiting for. It's a love worth fighting for--choosing to skip out on the latest style because you know you're worth more than that. Your future husband deserves more than that. And if he's the kind of guy worth waiting for, he will appreciate you helping him out in such a tangible way.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Heaven without Jesus
I have been thinking through some important questions about heaven lately and my view of heaven. What is it that I am really longing for?
A few months ago, I was talking with the first graders about heaven. They could ask any question they wanted to. Most of them asked questions like, "Will we be able to fly?" "Can I play video games there?"
But, there was one little boy who sat there with his hand raised, shaking it in the air, about to burst if he wasn't called on. When I finally called his name, his question illustrated the staggering and vital difference between how I often think about heaven (as quoted above) and how I ought to think about heaven:
The critical question for our generation--and for every generation--is this:
If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth,
and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed,
and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted,
and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven,
if Christ were not there?
{Taken from God is the Gospel by John Piper}
But, there was one little boy who sat there with his hand raised, shaking it in the air, about to burst if he wasn't called on. When I finally called his name, his question illustrated the staggering and vital difference between how I often think about heaven (as quoted above) and how I ought to think about heaven:
Miss Klopfenstein, will Jesus be in heaven?
Yes.
Really?! You mean, we get to be there with Him...forever?
The answer to Piper's thoughtful question above, of course, is simple: no. No, I wouldn't be satisfied in a heaven without Jesus. HE is what I was created for; to worship Him and enjoy Him forever. He is not just my ticket to heaven; He is the source of all heavenly and eternal joy.
So also you have sorrow now, but I will
see you again, and your
hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.
-Jesus
{John 16:22}
Did you catch that? The process? See Jesus, hearts rejoice, eternal joy. That's it. Nothing else is mentioned as the source of the joy apart from seeing Him. It's His presence that turns our sorrow into joy, not merely the absence of sorrow. He is our joy.
Not streets paved with gold. Not the mansion prepared for us. Not seeing friends and family who have gone before.
Jesus.
He really is there and we really do get to be with Him...forever.
And you know the best part? Eternal life starts now.
It's not a distant promise, yet to be fulfilled. It is certain and our life with Him begins now:
And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus
Christ whom you have sent.
{John 17:3}
He has come. He is God with us. We get to know Him and the power of His resurrection now. And that knowledge will only be more pure and perfect and full on that Day. So, how I enjoy spending time with Him now is preparation and a mere shadow for what is to come. Just as I need nothing else in heaven for eternal joy, I need nothing else on earth; all that is good apart from Him--whether in heaven or on earth--is merely a gift from Him, but not my source for joy.
So, there you have it: heaven without Jesus is no heaven at all.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Papa Klop
My dad has always done an exceptional job at practically showing his love for those he cares about. Whether it was working overtime to make sure we could have that extra special Christmas gift, or planning an extravagant vacation and holding nothing back, we always knew that he wanted the very best for us. Here's some of my favorite moments. I know there are many more, but these come to mind right away:
As most little girls do, I really wanted a pony. (Well, I wanted a lot of things and my dad usually got them for me, but THIS in particular really stole the show. What can I say? My dad was a softy.). So, back to that pony. We lived on 5 acres and already had 2 horses. But, they were race horses (literally), so they were a little intimidating to ride. I wanted a pony I could sit on and trot through the fields on. Well, my dad's friend was getting rid of their pony, so my dad jumped at the opportunity. So, in the most picture-perfect way, a brown pony with black mane, with pink ribbons intertwined, was dropped off at our house. Sam was the perfect horse for me.
For my 16th birthday, my dad was making me a hand-carved hope chest. He wanted to finish it for my birthday, and in the process he lost 2 fingers. So, we spent my 16th birthday in the ER. But, I sat there knowing that my dad cared for me more than I could ever imagine. {And the hope chest is beautiful.}
As much as I hated it in high school, I always knew that my dad cared about me because of how protective he was. I think one of the hardest things he has ever had to do as a dad was let his 20-year-old daughter get on a plane to fly to the other side of the world for 6 months. I got on the plane tearfully and sat down to read the index card he had handed me. In a style true to his own, he only wrote a few short sentences on the card. But, they were enough to let me know that he had done the best thing a dad could possibly do for his daughter: he had committed me into the hands of my Heavenly Father and was entrusting me to His care.
Thank you, Dad. I know that wherever I end up in this world, I have an earthly father who helps me to understand the love of my heavenly Father a little bit better.
As most little girls do, I really wanted a pony. (Well, I wanted a lot of things and my dad usually got them for me, but THIS in particular really stole the show. What can I say? My dad was a softy.). So, back to that pony. We lived on 5 acres and already had 2 horses. But, they were race horses (literally), so they were a little intimidating to ride. I wanted a pony I could sit on and trot through the fields on. Well, my dad's friend was getting rid of their pony, so my dad jumped at the opportunity. So, in the most picture-perfect way, a brown pony with black mane, with pink ribbons intertwined, was dropped off at our house. Sam was the perfect horse for me.
For my 16th birthday, my dad was making me a hand-carved hope chest. He wanted to finish it for my birthday, and in the process he lost 2 fingers. So, we spent my 16th birthday in the ER. But, I sat there knowing that my dad cared for me more than I could ever imagine. {And the hope chest is beautiful.}
As much as I hated it in high school, I always knew that my dad cared about me because of how protective he was. I think one of the hardest things he has ever had to do as a dad was let his 20-year-old daughter get on a plane to fly to the other side of the world for 6 months. I got on the plane tearfully and sat down to read the index card he had handed me. In a style true to his own, he only wrote a few short sentences on the card. But, they were enough to let me know that he had done the best thing a dad could possibly do for his daughter: he had committed me into the hands of my Heavenly Father and was entrusting me to His care.
Thank you, Dad. I know that wherever I end up in this world, I have an earthly father who helps me to understand the love of my heavenly Father a little bit better.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
On verses I don't like & putting beauty in its rightful place
A friend and I talked about how strange blogs are. It's like a journal entry, but one that the whole world has the liberty to read. With that being said, this will be one of my more "intimate" posts. Prepare to get a glimpse into depths of my soul that very few know. I am sharing these thoughts because I am pretty sure I'm not alone in this. And I think most women have some dimension of this in their life. So here goes...
Wanna know some of my least favorite verses in the Bible?
"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30
"Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:4
Before you dismiss me as a heretic for disliking these verses, let me explain.
First of all, I have these verses memorized and I have since high school. I didn't say they lack value or are somehow less God-inspired than other verses. I just have a really hard time agreeing with them. I mean...it's good in theory, right?
Wow, God looks more at my heart than what size of pants I fit into? And fearing the Lord is of more value than charm and beauty? That's actually really good news for us as women.
The problem is that we live in a world that stands absolutely antithetical to these verses. When a teenage girl is struggling with her identity and value, we can't just prescribe her some "it's your heart that matters" and send her into a world that tells her the exact opposite. AND, there are some women who break the mold of these verses completely.
We feel great talking about inner beauty until a girl walks in who is stunning on the outside--perfectly toned arms, beautiful skin, a glowing smile, on and on--AND has this amazing heart for Jesus.
My response?
"Really, Lord? If beauty is all about the heart, PLEASE tell me why you made some girls so incredibly beautiful. I mean have they EVER struggled with feeling inferior and unlovely and worthless?!"
There you have it. That's the honest truth. Those are my thoughts in those moments. It seems that those verses lose ALL their weight for me in those moments.
I've struggled with those thoughts for as long as I can remember. And I'm pretty sure most girls have, even the ones who seem--from every appearance--perfect.
Part of my frustration with those verses is that I want to be liberated by them. I desire to live like I really believe that it's true--that the cultivation of my heart is of infinitely more value than how I look. And there's been moments in the past couple of months where I've just wanted to know why my head and my heart just can't seem to connect on these verses.
I've given up trying to understand why God created some girls so stunningly beautiful without any effort while others struggle to find one good quality every time they look at a mirror. Yes, He has created each one of us unique and valuable in our own way. But, at the heart of it, sometimes those responses fall fatally short. And, in all honesty, I don't think there's an easy answer for those questions.
But....
I think there are 2 things that are essential for us as women if we are to move on from here and not get eaten alive by the lies the culture, our own minds, and the Enemy throw at us about what beauty is and what it isn't.
The first is simple, but it's essential. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Why? Because He's all that matters. The closer you get to HIS heart, the less you'll be consumed with YOUR physical appearance. It's crazy what our appearance-driven society has done to us. Somehow, we've bought into the lie that even Jesus was this blue-eyed, feather-haired, chiseled model who just happened to be God and love people and change the world. And now that you know some of my least favorite verses, I'll share with you one of my favorites:
Wait--you mean Jesus wasn't an Abercrombie model with long, flowy hair? You mean, he didn't turn heads when He walked into a room because of how good-looking He was?
Well, that's what the Bible says about Him. And if Jesus is the Son of God and didn't have an external appearance that stunned the world, why do we expect to? Why do we place such value on that, when our King wasn't even desirable?
You can be sure that Jesus did turn heads when He walked into a room. And it was for reasons that were so much more valuable and powerful than his external appearance--He was showing people what God was like--even the beauty of God--and He didn't need physical attractiveness to do that. Think about that. There are so many implications wrapped up in that. And so much freedom. We've been given the same Spirit that dwelt within Jesus (Romans 8:11) and therefore have the same power to turn heads for the right reasons.
Secondly, we have got to stop comparing ourselves to one another. We're destroying ourselves and one another in the process. Fight that temptation with everything in you. Yes, it's hard for us as women to get around those thoughts. But, think back to that Spirit that's within you--He raised Christ from the dead. And He can resurrect your heart to love other girls more than you criticize and compare.
So...think about it....We have been set free to be vessels of beauty the way our Creator always intended for us to be. Let's live like it.
*My friend said some things about this in her blog that I love. You should check it out.
Wanna know some of my least favorite verses in the Bible?
"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30
"Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:4
Before you dismiss me as a heretic for disliking these verses, let me explain.
First of all, I have these verses memorized and I have since high school. I didn't say they lack value or are somehow less God-inspired than other verses. I just have a really hard time agreeing with them. I mean...it's good in theory, right?
Wow, God looks more at my heart than what size of pants I fit into? And fearing the Lord is of more value than charm and beauty? That's actually really good news for us as women.
The problem is that we live in a world that stands absolutely antithetical to these verses. When a teenage girl is struggling with her identity and value, we can't just prescribe her some "it's your heart that matters" and send her into a world that tells her the exact opposite. AND, there are some women who break the mold of these verses completely.
We feel great talking about inner beauty until a girl walks in who is stunning on the outside--perfectly toned arms, beautiful skin, a glowing smile, on and on--AND has this amazing heart for Jesus.
My response?
"Really, Lord? If beauty is all about the heart, PLEASE tell me why you made some girls so incredibly beautiful. I mean have they EVER struggled with feeling inferior and unlovely and worthless?!"
There you have it. That's the honest truth. Those are my thoughts in those moments. It seems that those verses lose ALL their weight for me in those moments.
I've struggled with those thoughts for as long as I can remember. And I'm pretty sure most girls have, even the ones who seem--from every appearance--perfect.
Part of my frustration with those verses is that I want to be liberated by them. I desire to live like I really believe that it's true--that the cultivation of my heart is of infinitely more value than how I look. And there's been moments in the past couple of months where I've just wanted to know why my head and my heart just can't seem to connect on these verses.
I've given up trying to understand why God created some girls so stunningly beautiful without any effort while others struggle to find one good quality every time they look at a mirror. Yes, He has created each one of us unique and valuable in our own way. But, at the heart of it, sometimes those responses fall fatally short. And, in all honesty, I don't think there's an easy answer for those questions.
But....
I think there are 2 things that are essential for us as women if we are to move on from here and not get eaten alive by the lies the culture, our own minds, and the Enemy throw at us about what beauty is and what it isn't.
The first is simple, but it's essential. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Why? Because He's all that matters. The closer you get to HIS heart, the less you'll be consumed with YOUR physical appearance. It's crazy what our appearance-driven society has done to us. Somehow, we've bought into the lie that even Jesus was this blue-eyed, feather-haired, chiseled model who just happened to be God and love people and change the world. And now that you know some of my least favorite verses, I'll share with you one of my favorites:
....he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
and no beauty that we should desire him.
Isaiah 53:2
Wait--you mean Jesus wasn't an Abercrombie model with long, flowy hair? You mean, he didn't turn heads when He walked into a room because of how good-looking He was?
Well, that's what the Bible says about Him. And if Jesus is the Son of God and didn't have an external appearance that stunned the world, why do we expect to? Why do we place such value on that, when our King wasn't even desirable?
You can be sure that Jesus did turn heads when He walked into a room. And it was for reasons that were so much more valuable and powerful than his external appearance--He was showing people what God was like--even the beauty of God--and He didn't need physical attractiveness to do that. Think about that. There are so many implications wrapped up in that. And so much freedom. We've been given the same Spirit that dwelt within Jesus (Romans 8:11) and therefore have the same power to turn heads for the right reasons.
Secondly, we have got to stop comparing ourselves to one another. We're destroying ourselves and one another in the process. Fight that temptation with everything in you. Yes, it's hard for us as women to get around those thoughts. But, think back to that Spirit that's within you--He raised Christ from the dead. And He can resurrect your heart to love other girls more than you criticize and compare.
So...think about it....We have been set free to be vessels of beauty the way our Creator always intended for us to be. Let's live like it.
*My friend said some things about this in her blog that I love. You should check it out.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Eternally Engaged
"All that is not eternal is eternally useless."
CS Lewis
I wonder how different my life would look if I truly believed those words. To think that there are energies I am devoting myself to that matter nothing for eternity breaks my heart. I'm sure it breaks the heart of the Father even more. How He must watch the activities I engage in on a daily basis that further my kingdom instead of His, with a sadness for all that I am missing.
Because it's really me that's missing something--not Him. His Kingdom is still going forth with just as much force and validity and power as ever, I'm just the one who has stepped out of the march to pursue worthless things. And I'm the one missing the power that is ushering forth His Kingdom.
For the Kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power.
(1 Corinthians 4:20)
Dead men are raised to life. Blind see. Deaf hear. The crippled walk. Good news is preached to all. Lives are changed. Orphans are introduced to the Father of the fatherless. Broken people are restored.
And really? All that power and I'd rather spend my time doing frivolous things? Or worse--I'd rather think that I'm engaged in the beauty of the Kingdom by merely talking about it all the time?
There's so much more to the Kingdom to that. And I want to see it. To hear it, to reach out and touch it.
And there's so many areas where the Kingdom needs to be preached. Places where the depth of darkness seems unbearable.
Sex-trafficking.
Underdeveloped countries without clean water.
Orphans with no hope and no future.
People who don't know from where their next meal will come.
Those completely isolated from hearing the Good News of Jesus Christ.
My neighbors who think this life is all there is.
All these opportunities, waiting for the power of the Kingdom to come and overwhelm them. The keys to which I hold in my hand. And so often I choose the lesser things. Things that are eternally useless.
But the most amazing thing to me is that He knew that I would do that. He knew that when He chose to use imperfect people to bring forth His Kingdom here on earth, that we would often neglect the most important thing. That we would chose things that don't matter over the only thing that really matters. And yet, He still chose us to be the means He would use.
So...yes I am the one who is missing out when I choose the things of this world over things of eternal significance. But, there's grace to cover those attitudes of apathy and a God who uses the weak and foolish of the world to display His strength and wisdom. And that God has invited me to be part of the great Rescue Mission that He is carrying out. It's the greatest rescue ever carried out and victory is already secured.
So, I am left with this choice--give away my life to gain it? Or gain the whole world and forfeit my soul?
Saturday, February 4, 2012
The Merciful Judgment of God
I read a blog a few weeks ago that used the phrase "God's judgment is drenched in mercy." I have been seeing that on every page I've read in the Old Testament since then. I always knew it was there, but those words finally captured the stirrings in my heart.
One of the most significant places I see it is all the way back in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve have just disobeyed God. They have broken the heart of the One who created them. They have lost the perfect intimacy with Him that they once shared. To them, this is the end of the story. But, God's judgment is drenched in mercy:
One of the most significant places I see it is all the way back in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve have just disobeyed God. They have broken the heart of the One who created them. They have lost the perfect intimacy with Him that they once shared. To them, this is the end of the story. But, God's judgment is drenched in mercy:
Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of us in knowing good and evil. Now, lest he reach out his hand and take also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever—” therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which he was taken. He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life. (Gen. 3:22-24)
Think for a moment of what could have happened if Adam and Eve ate of the knowledge of the tree of good and evil and then ate from the tree of life. Now that they'd eaten of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, their eyes have been opened to sin. They could never go back to how it once was. But imagine if, with their new knowledge of good and evil and their now sinful hearts, they ate the tree of life and lived forever. There would never be an end to what sin had ruined. They would be trapped without end in those sinful bodies.
Yes, God sending them out of the Garden was a demonstration of the broken relationship between Creator and creation. But, it was also God's merciful plan to withhold Adam and Eve from trapping themselves in their sinful bodies for all eternity. God didn't want it to be that way. He sent them out of the Garden knowing that it would cost Him his very life to bring them back in. But, He knew that if they stayed in the Garden, there would be no end to the pain and brokenness.
And then, after years and years of God's people waiting and wandering and hungering and doubting, the promised Rescuer found Himself in a garden, asking that this cup might pass from Him. This cup of the burden of the world. This cup that was filled with the raging bitterness of sin. This cup that was filled the day the Garden was emptied.
And He drank the fullness of the cup. It wasn't a last ditch effort to try and fix this problem. This was His plan from before He formed the earth. God Himself was the only way for humanity to enter back into the captivating beauty of the Garden. And as painful as it was to watch the people He created walk in such darkness and pain, He knew that when they entered back into the Garden, they would be all the better for having been away from it.
He knew that because we have been walking in the devastation of injustice on this earth, we will delight all the more in the perfect justice that we will finally see before His throne for all eternity; because we have experienced the pain of death, we will understand the breathtaking beauty of unending life all the more; because we have known evil, we will know good in a way that we never could have any other way.
And there lies a major difference between the angels and God's redeemed people; yes, the angels will worship God for all eternity. Yes, the angels live before the face of God and are amazed at His glory. But, they will never understand grace because they've never known sin. They've seen it from a distance, but their hearts have never been broken by it in the same way ours are by living in a sinful world. We can worship God in a way that the angels can't because there are facets of His character that they have not experienced.
1 Peter 1 talks about the living hope we have that is tested by the fire of trial, the salvation that the prophets waited in anticipation for that we now have, and how we have been bought with the blood of the Lamb. Right in the middle, it says that these are "things into which angels long to look." (1:12)
They will never know the fire of trials that refine our hearts and the indescribable anticipation of one day being released from these sinful bodies and a sinful world to finally worship this God as He fully deserves. They worship Him because He is worthy and are blinded by His brilliant glory. But, they don't know what it's like to be blinded from seeing His glory.
I am thankful for God's merciful judgment that made the hope of relief from sin possible. I am thankful to know His grace because of knowing sin. And I anxiously await one day seeing Him for who He really is and for the memories I will have of sin that will serve as even deeper reason to praise Him for what He has rescued me from.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
What Half a Life of Parkinson's Disease has taught me about God
I still remember the many dark, tear-filled nights of confusion and despair. At 12 years old, I didn't understand what the announcement really meant. I just knew it wasn't good and that somehow it changed life as I knew it, forever.
I was in Junior High, an already awkward phase of life. There was many things I didn't understand at the time--like boys, friendships, algebra, the way my body was changing. With the addition of my 4 cousins and aunt, we had 5 extra people living under the same roof . My favorite dog and beloved pony both died. And now this. This news that kept haunting me, though I didn't even fully understand what it meant.
"Your mother has Parkinson's Disease." My dad's calm tone helped ease the sting, but only slightly.
I knew something wasn't right over the past few months. My mom just wasn't herself. And now doctors and second opinions had affirmed the news that months of speculation had feared.
This year marks 12 years since my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson's and thus means my mom has had the disease for half of my life. I've known my mom with Parkinson's as long as I knew her without. And, since the early years of life aren't remembered very clearly, it's safe to say that she has had Parkinson's in the majority of my memories with her.
When I think about that year in my life, a dark and gloomy cloud still hangs over most of what I remember. And yet, in the years since then, streams of sunlight have broken through as I can trace God's faithful hand over each and every detail. Through Parkinson's Disease, He has taught me lessons that I'm not sure I could learn any other way. I still wish that my mom didn't have to go through what she does every single day; but, it's what God has chosen for her and for our family, so we accept it--even if it's sometimes through tears. Here are some of the lessons He's taught me:
1) He is all I have. As a junior higher, everything around me was changing and nothing was reliable. My mom was the most sure and constant thing in my life. Or so I thought. She was there every morning when I woke up and every day when I came home. She was the only person I told everything and was the shoulder to cry on when my friends let me down or when I didn't do well on a test. Yet, she was still human. God used her being diagnosed with Parkinson's to show me that He alone needed to be my refuge and hope and sure foundation. The news rocked my world in such a real way, mostly because it reminded me that my mom wouldn't last forever. She couldn't meet my every need; she was never meant to. Only the God of the universe could do that; and He had stepped into a broken world to be everything I would ever need.
2) There is more. This world is broken and it's passing away. Seeing the frailty of my mom's previously healthy and strong body caused me to look forward to the hope of new bodies in heaven. And more than new bodies, the new life that awaits us; a life without brokenness and disease and all the damaging effects of sin. I long for that day for my mom. I long for that day for all of humanity. The day when we will know fully what we were created for; that which sin stole in the Garden, that which God became man to win back for us. And somehow, it will be even more beautiful for having once been so broken. Knowing what life in perfect unity with God is like will be understood so much more richly for having once been a stranger to that unity. When my mom has a renewed body, she will appreciate it so much more for once walking in a body tormented by disease.
3) Life is a vapor. Though it's true with or without Parkinson's, the disease is a reminder that I don't know how long I will have my mom. The thought of not having her here on my wedding day or to meet my kids someday frightens me. But, I am not called to worry about those things. She is here today. And none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. I have learned to embrace the today that I have with my mom and with others and to see each moment that is given from the hand of God as an undeserved gift.
4) He teaches through affliction what we cannot learn through mercies. I was first confronted with this idea in an Ann Judson biography. There are things that I truly cannot learn apart from pain and affliction. For example, I have experienced the comfort of God in ways that I never could have experienced without the pain of Parkinson's disease. I have experienced an aching for heaven that I would never know without the discomfort the disease has brought. I have grown to love and cling to the promises of God in ways that I never would have without being desperate for them.
5) He is compassionate and merciful. James 5:11 has become a favorite verse of me over the past couple of years. It says that in the story of Job, we see the purpose of the Lord--that He is compassionate and merciful. When I first read it, I was just confused. I could think of a million other adjectives to describe God's purpose through Job's story before the words "compassionate" and "merciful" would come to mind. But, as I've reflected on this journey our family has taken with Parkinson's Disease, I have come to understand the purpose of the Lord in deeper ways, ways that point so powerfully to His compassion and mercy. He is compassionate and merciful to bring us to a place of groaning in these earthly tents so that we're always longing for Home. He is compassionate and merciful to allow us to walk through pain so that we can share with Him in His suffering. He is compassionate and merciful to let us experience discomfort so that we can know the depth of comfort that He alone can offer us. He is compassionate and merciful to look past our desperate groaning to be removed from our difficult circumstances, knowing that He is producing in us something infinitely more valuable than we could ever imagine--becoming more like Him. He sees our pain, He bears it with us, and yet He allows it to continue because His ultimate goal for us is our holiness, not our momentary happiness. What a compassionate and merciful God.
God is writing a beautiful story that started before the foundation of the world and will continue for all eternity. And He uses every hurt and pain and disappointment for the good of His ultimate purpose. Parkinson's Disease isn't outside of His control. It's part of His plan, not just for my mom and our family, but for the bigger story He's writing--the story of redeeming the world that has been broken by sin. One day, Parkinson's disease will be no more. One day, the tears that this disease and so many others have caused will be wiped away, forever. One day, it will all be made right. And the memories of all this earthly pain will serve as a reminder of just how much Christ won for us on the cross. And we will worship Him forever because of it.
I was in Junior High, an already awkward phase of life. There was many things I didn't understand at the time--like boys, friendships, algebra, the way my body was changing. With the addition of my 4 cousins and aunt, we had 5 extra people living under the same roof . My favorite dog and beloved pony both died. And now this. This news that kept haunting me, though I didn't even fully understand what it meant.
"Your mother has Parkinson's Disease." My dad's calm tone helped ease the sting, but only slightly.
I knew something wasn't right over the past few months. My mom just wasn't herself. And now doctors and second opinions had affirmed the news that months of speculation had feared.
This year marks 12 years since my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson's and thus means my mom has had the disease for half of my life. I've known my mom with Parkinson's as long as I knew her without. And, since the early years of life aren't remembered very clearly, it's safe to say that she has had Parkinson's in the majority of my memories with her.
When I think about that year in my life, a dark and gloomy cloud still hangs over most of what I remember. And yet, in the years since then, streams of sunlight have broken through as I can trace God's faithful hand over each and every detail. Through Parkinson's Disease, He has taught me lessons that I'm not sure I could learn any other way. I still wish that my mom didn't have to go through what she does every single day; but, it's what God has chosen for her and for our family, so we accept it--even if it's sometimes through tears. Here are some of the lessons He's taught me:
1) He is all I have. As a junior higher, everything around me was changing and nothing was reliable. My mom was the most sure and constant thing in my life. Or so I thought. She was there every morning when I woke up and every day when I came home. She was the only person I told everything and was the shoulder to cry on when my friends let me down or when I didn't do well on a test. Yet, she was still human. God used her being diagnosed with Parkinson's to show me that He alone needed to be my refuge and hope and sure foundation. The news rocked my world in such a real way, mostly because it reminded me that my mom wouldn't last forever. She couldn't meet my every need; she was never meant to. Only the God of the universe could do that; and He had stepped into a broken world to be everything I would ever need.
2) There is more. This world is broken and it's passing away. Seeing the frailty of my mom's previously healthy and strong body caused me to look forward to the hope of new bodies in heaven. And more than new bodies, the new life that awaits us; a life without brokenness and disease and all the damaging effects of sin. I long for that day for my mom. I long for that day for all of humanity. The day when we will know fully what we were created for; that which sin stole in the Garden, that which God became man to win back for us. And somehow, it will be even more beautiful for having once been so broken. Knowing what life in perfect unity with God is like will be understood so much more richly for having once been a stranger to that unity. When my mom has a renewed body, she will appreciate it so much more for once walking in a body tormented by disease.
3) Life is a vapor. Though it's true with or without Parkinson's, the disease is a reminder that I don't know how long I will have my mom. The thought of not having her here on my wedding day or to meet my kids someday frightens me. But, I am not called to worry about those things. She is here today. And none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. I have learned to embrace the today that I have with my mom and with others and to see each moment that is given from the hand of God as an undeserved gift.
4) He teaches through affliction what we cannot learn through mercies. I was first confronted with this idea in an Ann Judson biography. There are things that I truly cannot learn apart from pain and affliction. For example, I have experienced the comfort of God in ways that I never could have experienced without the pain of Parkinson's disease. I have experienced an aching for heaven that I would never know without the discomfort the disease has brought. I have grown to love and cling to the promises of God in ways that I never would have without being desperate for them.
5) He is compassionate and merciful. James 5:11 has become a favorite verse of me over the past couple of years. It says that in the story of Job, we see the purpose of the Lord--that He is compassionate and merciful. When I first read it, I was just confused. I could think of a million other adjectives to describe God's purpose through Job's story before the words "compassionate" and "merciful" would come to mind. But, as I've reflected on this journey our family has taken with Parkinson's Disease, I have come to understand the purpose of the Lord in deeper ways, ways that point so powerfully to His compassion and mercy. He is compassionate and merciful to bring us to a place of groaning in these earthly tents so that we're always longing for Home. He is compassionate and merciful to allow us to walk through pain so that we can share with Him in His suffering. He is compassionate and merciful to let us experience discomfort so that we can know the depth of comfort that He alone can offer us. He is compassionate and merciful to look past our desperate groaning to be removed from our difficult circumstances, knowing that He is producing in us something infinitely more valuable than we could ever imagine--becoming more like Him. He sees our pain, He bears it with us, and yet He allows it to continue because His ultimate goal for us is our holiness, not our momentary happiness. What a compassionate and merciful God.
God is writing a beautiful story that started before the foundation of the world and will continue for all eternity. And He uses every hurt and pain and disappointment for the good of His ultimate purpose. Parkinson's Disease isn't outside of His control. It's part of His plan, not just for my mom and our family, but for the bigger story He's writing--the story of redeeming the world that has been broken by sin. One day, Parkinson's disease will be no more. One day, the tears that this disease and so many others have caused will be wiped away, forever. One day, it will all be made right. And the memories of all this earthly pain will serve as a reminder of just how much Christ won for us on the cross. And we will worship Him forever because of it.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Celebrating my Mom
 | |||
| November 8, 2008 |
The above picture was taken just 3 days after she had brain surgery to help alleviate the symptoms of Parkinson's disease. I love it for so many reasons, mostly because it shows the joy and peace that illuminate so brightly from her, with no regard to circumstances. And today, as the 62nd year of her life begins, I would like to take some time to share some of the reasons I love this incredible woman.
1) She loves Jesus Christ.
2) She is a woman marked by prayer.
3) She believes that God does what He says He will do.
4) She has a soft heart to the things of the Lord.
5) She loves others in word and deed (a rare combination)
6) She is honest about her struggle to trust God.
7) She looks for the best in others.
8) She always puts others before herself.
9) She never complains.
10) She lays down her life on a daily basis to serve others.
11) She loves laughter.
12) She enjoys life and taught her kids to enjoy it as well.
13) She sacrificially loves her kids.
14) She has faithfully loved her husband for 42 years.
15) She is diligent
16) She gets out of bed each morning, even though it's indescribably hard to do so
17) She is content in the Lord and in what He provides
18) She has a spirit of gentleness
19) She listens far more than she speaks
20) She proves wisdom by her actions more than by her words (though there's wisdom in her words, too)
21) She understands that true beauty is not skin deep
22) She maintains a beautiful outward appearance that is timeless and classy.
23) She knows this world isn't her home and lives like it.
24) She takes her fears to the Lord before she takes them to people
25) She is hospitable and her home will always be my favorite place to go on this earth.
So, mom, if you're reading this--I could thank you for a million things. But, more than anything I am thankful that in you, I have seen a beautiful picture of Jesus Christ and the selfless love He has for His people. I rejoice that He has given you another year here on this earth to point people to Him and will never be able to thank Him enough for giving me the privilege to live under your example. You have been the hands, feet, and mouthpiece of God in my life and in the lives of so many others. Today, we celebrate YOU!
Monday, January 2, 2012
2012
When I read this prayer, I cried. It resonated so deeply within my heart.
That I can recall, I have never had a more difficult year as a whole than 2011. The year brought some of the deepest hurts I have ever experienced.
I watched my sister walk through losing her best friend.
I watched as Mary, who had become like family to us, struggled with a very aggressive cancer that showed no mercy.
I walked alongside two young boys as they struggled through the months immediately following their mom's death.
I watched close friends walk through their most heart-wrenching circumstances in life to date.
I walked through months and months of unending conflict with another believer, the deepest and most draining conflict I have ever been in with another believer (or with anyone for that matter).
I moved multiple times, changed jobs a few times, messed up a lot.
All this to say, 2011 was excruciatingly difficult.
But, I also experienced some of the deepest joys I have ever known as I saw the Lord powerfully make Himself known in the darkest moments of this year.
I experienced the comfort of the Lord in ways I have never known before.
But, if I were to sum up this year with one word, one lesson, one truth, it would be this:
Grace.
I understood the grace of the Lord in deeper and more profound ways than I have ever known. Over and over again this year, I realized how frail I am. How sinful I am. How often I let people down. How impossible it is for me to do any of it on my own. And I saw His strong, yet kind hand lift me up again and again, reminding me that I don't stand in what I do or don't do; I stand only in what He has already done on my behalf.
It is finished.
There is an abundance of grace. And that's good news for me, because I need it every moment of every day.
The temptation for me in starting a new year is to think that because of a change in the date on the calendar, I can suddenly be a new person overnight (literally). I can make lists and lists of all the things I want to change and do better this year, and can hold on to the hope that this year will be easier.
But, if that were the case, then I missed the point of it all. The last 12 months of tears and frustration and impatience and hurt and grief would all be wasted if I really believed that I can change myself and that a life free of uncomfortable things is somehow better.
The reality is that though there were plenty of resolutions that I did not keep from the start of 2011 to now, there is one thing that I did grow in: I think I understand the gospel more deeply, simply because I've needed it and clung to it in new ways.
So....I will make goals and plans for this year and seek to grow and improve. But, none of that can be done apart from grace. Because, I am going to fail inmany all of those well-intended goals. I will need his grace in ways this year that will be new and different than the ways in which I needed it last year. But that grace and the God who extends it are the same this year as they were last year. And He knows who He wants me to be at the end of 2012 and what it will take to get me to that place. If it is through more tears and trials and disappointment, I will gladly accept that because I know His grace will be there to meet me. I know He will be there in those moments. And He is what I want more than anything else in this world.
So, I have goals and plans for growth this year. But, more than a more organized schedule or a neater room, I just want to know Him more. I want to abide in Him. I want to be changed by Him. I want to say, at the end of 2012, that I have been given a more clear picture of the gospel and a deeper understanding of what it means for today, right now.
That I can recall, I have never had a more difficult year as a whole than 2011. The year brought some of the deepest hurts I have ever experienced.
I watched my sister walk through losing her best friend.
I watched as Mary, who had become like family to us, struggled with a very aggressive cancer that showed no mercy.
I walked alongside two young boys as they struggled through the months immediately following their mom's death.
I watched close friends walk through their most heart-wrenching circumstances in life to date.
I walked through months and months of unending conflict with another believer, the deepest and most draining conflict I have ever been in with another believer (or with anyone for that matter).
I moved multiple times, changed jobs a few times, messed up a lot.
All this to say, 2011 was excruciatingly difficult.
But, I also experienced some of the deepest joys I have ever known as I saw the Lord powerfully make Himself known in the darkest moments of this year.
I experienced the comfort of the Lord in ways I have never known before.
But, if I were to sum up this year with one word, one lesson, one truth, it would be this:
Grace.
I understood the grace of the Lord in deeper and more profound ways than I have ever known. Over and over again this year, I realized how frail I am. How sinful I am. How often I let people down. How impossible it is for me to do any of it on my own. And I saw His strong, yet kind hand lift me up again and again, reminding me that I don't stand in what I do or don't do; I stand only in what He has already done on my behalf.
It is finished.
There is an abundance of grace. And that's good news for me, because I need it every moment of every day.
The temptation for me in starting a new year is to think that because of a change in the date on the calendar, I can suddenly be a new person overnight (literally). I can make lists and lists of all the things I want to change and do better this year, and can hold on to the hope that this year will be easier.
But, if that were the case, then I missed the point of it all. The last 12 months of tears and frustration and impatience and hurt and grief would all be wasted if I really believed that I can change myself and that a life free of uncomfortable things is somehow better.
The reality is that though there were plenty of resolutions that I did not keep from the start of 2011 to now, there is one thing that I did grow in: I think I understand the gospel more deeply, simply because I've needed it and clung to it in new ways.
So....I will make goals and plans for this year and seek to grow and improve. But, none of that can be done apart from grace. Because, I am going to fail in
So, I have goals and plans for growth this year. But, more than a more organized schedule or a neater room, I just want to know Him more. I want to abide in Him. I want to be changed by Him. I want to say, at the end of 2012, that I have been given a more clear picture of the gospel and a deeper understanding of what it means for today, right now.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
All Good Things Must Come to an End
At least here on earth.
You know those things you look forward to with anticipation for days/weeks/months, then the moment finally arrives and passes far too quickly? For me, spending time with my family is that type of feeling. Having 3 siblings, each married with their own family, it's difficult to get all of us in the same place. So, when we do--it's a special treat. I want to soak it all in. But, then it's over and everyone goes back to their respective jobs, responsibilities, life as we know it.
One moment the house is full and loud and filled with chaos, the next--silent.
And then that reminder comes that the good things in this life, given to us as gifts to be enjoyed from the hand of the Father, are temporary. And though they are good gifts, they aren't the end in themselves. They are means to the end of pointing us to the Giver of those gifts. They are to point us to the good things He has in store for us for all eternity--things that will never come to an end.
But, in the meantime, I'll take those moments--as quickly as they seem to pass. Here are some of those moments from the past few days with everyone in one place.
You know those things you look forward to with anticipation for days/weeks/months, then the moment finally arrives and passes far too quickly? For me, spending time with my family is that type of feeling. Having 3 siblings, each married with their own family, it's difficult to get all of us in the same place. So, when we do--it's a special treat. I want to soak it all in. But, then it's over and everyone goes back to their respective jobs, responsibilities, life as we know it.
One moment the house is full and loud and filled with chaos, the next--silent.
And then that reminder comes that the good things in this life, given to us as gifts to be enjoyed from the hand of the Father, are temporary. And though they are good gifts, they aren't the end in themselves. They are means to the end of pointing us to the Giver of those gifts. They are to point us to the good things He has in store for us for all eternity--things that will never come to an end.
But, in the meantime, I'll take those moments--as quickly as they seem to pass. Here are some of those moments from the past few days with everyone in one place.
 |
| Little Brooklyn LOVED the dogs. |
 |
| The girls loved our time eating (and chatting, of course) |
 |
| The classic, impromptu "Quick, before everyone leaves" family picture |
 |
| The "older" kids loved their time hanging out, being the cool kids they are |
 |
| All the grand kids in one place! |
There you have it! A glimpse into the Klopfenstein family Christmas gathering. The good news is that, for those who are old enough, everyone in our family has been saved by Jesus and we'll get to spend all eternity worshiping Him together. Now, THAT is a gathering to look forward to!
Sunday, December 25, 2011
I think this needs a frame in my house
Remember that you have only one soul;
that you have only one death to die;
that you have only one life, which is short and has to be lived by you alone;
and that there is only one glory, which is eternal.
If you do this, there will be many things about which you care nothing.
-Teresa of Avila
(as quoted in "No Longer a Slumdog")
My easily-distracted heart and mind really needed to read that. And, knowing how prone I am to quickly forget the only things that really matter, I think I need to frame it and put it some place where I can read it often.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
The Good Guys Make a Comeback
My mom has always been a fan of the shows where the good guy wins. As long as I can remember, we've watched the shows where criminals are caught, must pay for their actions and justice is met. You name it--Law and Order, CSI, and of course, Walker Texas Ranger. I grew up cheering for the good guy with her, which is why I'm not too surprised to find out that my mom has been just as excited to watch football since Tim Tebow has come along as I am. Neither of us know much about football (to my dad and brothers' dismay), but according to word on the street, you don't really need to know much about football to watch Tebow play--you just get to see the good guy win (and win, and win).
But, Wait! Before you stop there because you think this is just another rambling about Tebow to add to the plethora of articles out there--about whether or not he's a good quarterback, what the secret to his success is, whether or not he needs to tone down his religious comments, about Tebowmania, Tebowing, or any other verb, noun, and adjective that has been created out of the madness--let me just say that this article is just a simple appreciation of a good guy. And whether or not he ever wins another football game, I just want to take a moment to share why I appreciate Tim Tebow. And it starts with what Tebow is not.
Apart from the countless number of articles on Tebow that have been popping up all over the internet, there has been another topic that has come up quite frequently--the decline of real men. There's been entire books written lately about how increasingly more men are staying at home well into their 30s, playing video games for the majority of their day, not finishing college degrees (or finishing much of anything), and yet still having all the "fun" with any woman they want. Our movies reflect these type of men; college campuses reflect the epidemic that seems to be occurring in our culture today; I read an article on CNN a couple of months ago that helped paint a picture of the dilemma our society faces today. As a single woman, I speak on behalf of us all that these trends are anything but encouraging.
In the midst of it all, enters Tim Tebow. He's a successful college football player who makes it to the NFL and continually proves critics and foes wrong with his success. He has multiple endorsements, is talked about all over the news and internet, and within the last few weeks has become one of the most talked about athletes in any professional league.
Now, we've seen these guys before--the extremely successful, nothing-stands-in-their-way type of athletes that people can't stop talking about.
The difference with Tebow is that instead of hearing about which celebrity woman is his newest accessory or how many houses he owns or how much money he makes or the brawl he got himself into at a bar, we hear about the hospital he's building in the Philippines, the sick kids he's visiting in hospitals, the fact that he has claimed to be saving himself for marriage and--overshadowing all of it--he has a deep and bold commitment to live for Jesus Christ (and that commitment far outshines any of his football achievements).
At this point, every single girl in America should be rejoicing. Not because we have a chance to be with Tim Tebow; not because he is perfect by any means and should be the standard to which all men should be held. But, we should be overjoyed when we acknowledge that celebrity athletes are a beacon for the culture of the social "norm." Just when we started to hum the tune "Where have all the good men gone?", a celebrity athlete steps in and shows us that good guys in their truest form still do exist. They're not all professional athletes that the world is talking about, or men who have been given the enormous platform that Tebow has. But, guys like Tebow remind us all that the guys worth waiting for are out there and that our hopes of finding a man who can rise above the cultural norm, work hard, and take a stand for what they believe, all the while remaining humble and holding fast to Jesus Christ is not just a shot in the dark.
So, thank you, Tim Tebow for rising to the challenge and showing America that fame and success doesn't have to equate to arrogance and immorality; and thank you for reminding a disillusioned generation of girls that good guys--even celebrity athlete ones--still do exist.
Out of the Tebow madness, a few really well-thought articles have been written. Here are the best I've seen:
http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7319858/the-people-hate-tim-tebow A very interesting evaluation from a secular perspective as to why there's so much "buzz" about Tebow.
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2011/12/13/tebow-calvin-and-the-hand-of-god-in-sports/ The most in-depth and well-written answer to the daunting question of whether or not God is helping Tebow win games. (The last 2 paragraphs are the best, in my opinion.)
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/current-events/features/27544-tebow-time A great challenge for believers in how we need to respond to Tebow--regardless of where we land in our views about him.
But, Wait! Before you stop there because you think this is just another rambling about Tebow to add to the plethora of articles out there--about whether or not he's a good quarterback, what the secret to his success is, whether or not he needs to tone down his religious comments, about Tebowmania, Tebowing, or any other verb, noun, and adjective that has been created out of the madness--let me just say that this article is just a simple appreciation of a good guy. And whether or not he ever wins another football game, I just want to take a moment to share why I appreciate Tim Tebow. And it starts with what Tebow is not.
Apart from the countless number of articles on Tebow that have been popping up all over the internet, there has been another topic that has come up quite frequently--the decline of real men. There's been entire books written lately about how increasingly more men are staying at home well into their 30s, playing video games for the majority of their day, not finishing college degrees (or finishing much of anything), and yet still having all the "fun" with any woman they want. Our movies reflect these type of men; college campuses reflect the epidemic that seems to be occurring in our culture today; I read an article on CNN a couple of months ago that helped paint a picture of the dilemma our society faces today. As a single woman, I speak on behalf of us all that these trends are anything but encouraging.
In the midst of it all, enters Tim Tebow. He's a successful college football player who makes it to the NFL and continually proves critics and foes wrong with his success. He has multiple endorsements, is talked about all over the news and internet, and within the last few weeks has become one of the most talked about athletes in any professional league.
Now, we've seen these guys before--the extremely successful, nothing-stands-in-their-way type of athletes that people can't stop talking about.
The difference with Tebow is that instead of hearing about which celebrity woman is his newest accessory or how many houses he owns or how much money he makes or the brawl he got himself into at a bar, we hear about the hospital he's building in the Philippines, the sick kids he's visiting in hospitals, the fact that he has claimed to be saving himself for marriage and--overshadowing all of it--he has a deep and bold commitment to live for Jesus Christ (and that commitment far outshines any of his football achievements).
At this point, every single girl in America should be rejoicing. Not because we have a chance to be with Tim Tebow; not because he is perfect by any means and should be the standard to which all men should be held. But, we should be overjoyed when we acknowledge that celebrity athletes are a beacon for the culture of the social "norm." Just when we started to hum the tune "Where have all the good men gone?", a celebrity athlete steps in and shows us that good guys in their truest form still do exist. They're not all professional athletes that the world is talking about, or men who have been given the enormous platform that Tebow has. But, guys like Tebow remind us all that the guys worth waiting for are out there and that our hopes of finding a man who can rise above the cultural norm, work hard, and take a stand for what they believe, all the while remaining humble and holding fast to Jesus Christ is not just a shot in the dark.
So, thank you, Tim Tebow for rising to the challenge and showing America that fame and success doesn't have to equate to arrogance and immorality; and thank you for reminding a disillusioned generation of girls that good guys--even celebrity athlete ones--still do exist.
Out of the Tebow madness, a few really well-thought articles have been written. Here are the best I've seen:
http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7319858/the-people-hate-tim-tebow A very interesting evaluation from a secular perspective as to why there's so much "buzz" about Tebow.
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2011/12/13/tebow-calvin-and-the-hand-of-god-in-sports/ The most in-depth and well-written answer to the daunting question of whether or not God is helping Tebow win games. (The last 2 paragraphs are the best, in my opinion.)
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/current-events/features/27544-tebow-time A great challenge for believers in how we need to respond to Tebow--regardless of where we land in our views about him.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
The Jesus Storybook Bible
The intended ages for the book is 4-7....but I have been completely engrossed in it the past few days. I love the way it is written and how it can make me excited to find out what happens next even though I already know the story. It's imaginative and creative and makes my heart race in the same way that reading about Aslan in the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe does (And, not to mention--the artwork is beautiful!). It tells the full story of redemption from the Fall in the garden of Eden to the second coming of Jesus when He makes everything right again. The entire Bible is told as one big Story where each individual part--from Abraham's sacrifice of Isaac to the parting of the Red Sea--is told in a way that points to Jesus and talks of the "Great Rescue Plan" that is being carried out and how all of these accounts are just foreshadows of what is to come in Jesus.
Here's a little taste of why I love it so much. This is an excerpt from Jesus' calling of the 12 disciples, starting off right after he left the temptation in the wilderness:
I am using it as inspiration for developing curriculum for teaching the 1st graders Bible. But, I highly recommend it to everyone--whether you have kids or not! It will awaken those adventurous parts of your heart and bring the Story of God's Redemptive Plan to life! You can click here to buy it on Amazon.
Here's a little taste of why I love it so much. This is an excerpt from Jesus' calling of the 12 disciples, starting off right after he left the temptation in the wilderness:
Jesus left the desert and set about the Great Rescue. He was going to get God's people back.
But first he needed to find some helpers and friends. He had a lot to do.
He would need some people to help him.
Who would make good helpers, do you think?
Clever ones? Rich ones? Strong, important ones?
Some people might think so, but I'm sure by now you don't need me to tell you they'd be wrong.
Because the people God uses don't have to know a lot of things, or have a lot of things--
they just have to need him a lot.
One day, Jesus was walking by the Sea of Galilee when he saw some brothers & friends
mending their nets. They were poor fishermen.
Jesus called out to them, "Let's go!"
Peter, Andrew, James and John looked up at this man on the shore.
And they couldn't explain it: their boats needed to be put away,
their nets needed mending, fish were still wriggling on the shore.
But something about this stranger made them just drop their nets and their fish,
leave their boats--and everything--and follow him.
This God-Man was like no one they had ever met. When they looked at Jesus,
their hearts filled up with a wonderful, forever sort of happiness
and inside it was as if they were running free in an open field.
Jesus asked 12 men to be his helpers: Peter, Andrew, James and John,
Matthew Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, another James, Simon, Thaddaeus, and Judas.
Meeting Jesus would change all of them forever.
I am using it as inspiration for developing curriculum for teaching the 1st graders Bible. But, I highly recommend it to everyone--whether you have kids or not! It will awaken those adventurous parts of your heart and bring the Story of God's Redemptive Plan to life! You can click here to buy it on Amazon.
Monday, November 21, 2011
The Household of God
I really hate disappointing people. Regardless of how small or big the offense, I hate knowing that my actions, words, lack of action--whatever it may be--have let someone down. I am also not a fan of conflict. (I almost put "hate" conflict, but I am learning to see it as opportunity for growth and change; it's not all bad when looked at it that way).
Anyways, when I find myself in conflict with someone, it is hard for me to think about anything else.
My mind and heart are distracted, my energy is drained, my effectiveness in any other area is significantly lessened.
As uncomfortable as those feelings are, I think they are important because they remind us that God doesn't desire for those broken relationships to remain as they are; He desires unity, peace, reconciliation.
I mean, just look at the cross.
Undoubtedly, that was all Jesus thought about in the weeks, days, moments leading up to His betrayal, arrest, and crucifixion.
Think for a moment about the people that Jesus had experienced "conflict" with leading up to the cross--Judas, Peter, the high priest, the soldiers, the people who spat on him and mocked him, on and on.
And what did Jesus do?
He died for them. He asked that the Father would forgive them as they were right in the middle of beating him, humiliating him, denying him, breathing threats against him.
He thought about how burdened his soul was, but He also knew what would be accomplished for all mankind.
Unity between Jew and Gentile.
Peace between God and Man and peace among men.
Reconciliation from what was broken and lost in the Garden of Eden.
So, He drank the fullness of the cup.
And everything changed.
The way I approach conflict is completely different now because of Jesus, especially with other believers.
I don't have the option to leave things broken and messed up between brothers and sisters in Christ. That doesn't mean we will always agree on every point. But, if we both claim to love, follow and submit to Jesus Christ, that means we always have the means and the motivation to overcome whatever peace-squelching division exists between us.
Sadly, we all know that divisions still exist. We have all seen the painful effects of broken relationships between believers.
And yet, the Church is what God chose to reveal Himself and His character to the world. He could have used any means. And He chose the broken, messy, often-failed relationships between His people to be what would declare His love and what would mark His people as His disciples.
And He even chose that the Church would be a display of His glory from the foundation of the world.
Anyways, when I find myself in conflict with someone, it is hard for me to think about anything else.
My mind and heart are distracted, my energy is drained, my effectiveness in any other area is significantly lessened.
As uncomfortable as those feelings are, I think they are important because they remind us that God doesn't desire for those broken relationships to remain as they are; He desires unity, peace, reconciliation.
I mean, just look at the cross.
Undoubtedly, that was all Jesus thought about in the weeks, days, moments leading up to His betrayal, arrest, and crucifixion.
Think for a moment about the people that Jesus had experienced "conflict" with leading up to the cross--Judas, Peter, the high priest, the soldiers, the people who spat on him and mocked him, on and on.
And what did Jesus do?
He died for them. He asked that the Father would forgive them as they were right in the middle of beating him, humiliating him, denying him, breathing threats against him.
He thought about how burdened his soul was, but He also knew what would be accomplished for all mankind.
Unity between Jew and Gentile.
Peace between God and Man and peace among men.
Reconciliation from what was broken and lost in the Garden of Eden.
So, He drank the fullness of the cup.
And everything changed.
The way I approach conflict is completely different now because of Jesus, especially with other believers.
I don't have the option to leave things broken and messed up between brothers and sisters in Christ. That doesn't mean we will always agree on every point. But, if we both claim to love, follow and submit to Jesus Christ, that means we always have the means and the motivation to overcome whatever peace-squelching division exists between us.
Sadly, we all know that divisions still exist. We have all seen the painful effects of broken relationships between believers.
And yet, the Church is what God chose to reveal Himself and His character to the world. He could have used any means. And He chose the broken, messy, often-failed relationships between His people to be what would declare His love and what would mark His people as His disciples.
"By this all people will know that you are my disciples,
if you have love for one another."
John 13:35
And He even chose that the Church would be a display of His glory from the foundation of the world.
"...through the Church the manifold wisdom
of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities
in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he
has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Ephesians 3:10-11
But, maybe that's the whole point after all.
Maybe the fact that we are broken and messy and often divided would show His glory and power and love even more. That we serve a God who uses brokenness for beauty, pain for purpose, division for divine reasons continually leaves me stunned. But, in Him using broken people to march forth His Kingdom, He receives much glory. And when He restores a broken relationship through the Cross, His power is clearly seen.
He's building a household of Jews, Gentiles, slaves, free, men, women--all on the foundation of Jesus Christ--the only foundation upon which all peoples find unity and a common place to stand. He's shaping each of us, chiseling away our anger and hatred and selfishness, so that we might come together as His household. One that, while imperfect, points undeniably to the Savior who fixes broken things and in which God Himself might dwell.
"You are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit." Ephesians 2:19-22
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Loving God with all my Mind
Found this prayer on Paul Tripp's blog. If you haven't, you really should get acquainted with his writing. He has a seriously unique and God-given gift of making theology completely, 100% practical. Here's just a taste of that:
I know I should watch my meditation.
It is important to guard my thoughts.
It is a battle to not be taken captive.
It's hard to think after you.
There are so many things that compete
for my thoughts,
so many things that call after my desires.
It really is war, fought in the neighborhoods
of my mind.
"If only" commands too much of
my meditation.
"I wish" controls too much of
my thoughts.
"I need" fights for
control.
It is so easy in the midst
of it all to forget
the one thing I was created
to remember:
You.
I now confess
it is so easy to lose sight of
Your presence
Your power
Your kingdom
Your glory
Your plan
Your grace.
In my right mind I know that
forgetting is the
first step in losing
my way.
So, I humbly ask once again,
O, Spirit of wisdom and grace,
please empower me to
meditate on You,
please enable me to fight
distraction.
Please deliver me from the
one thing I cannot escape:
my fickle heart.
So that everything
I do would bear the mark of
remembering You.
It is important to guard my thoughts.
It is a battle to not be taken captive.
It's hard to think after you.
There are so many things that compete
for my thoughts,
so many things that call after my desires.
It really is war, fought in the neighborhoods
of my mind.
"If only" commands too much of
my meditation.
"I wish" controls too much of
my thoughts.
"I need" fights for
control.
It is so easy in the midst
of it all to forget
the one thing I was created
to remember:
You.
I now confess
it is so easy to lose sight of
Your presence
Your power
Your kingdom
Your glory
Your plan
Your grace.
In my right mind I know that
forgetting is the
first step in losing
my way.
So, I humbly ask once again,
O, Spirit of wisdom and grace,
please empower me to
meditate on You,
please enable me to fight
distraction.
Please deliver me from the
one thing I cannot escape:
my fickle heart.
So that everything
I do would bear the mark of
remembering You.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Detached
That is how I feel right now.
Separate. Disconnected. Removed.
Some people thrive off of time alone. While I do need that alone time to recharge every once in a while, I am most often recharged being around people.
I am an external processor--which is hard to do by yourself.
Absolute quiet makes me want to go crazy, while being around the chaos of kids or family fills my heart.
All this to say, I'm what most would call a "people person."
Since March, I have been living by myself. Well, with 2 cats--but we all know that doesn't count, right? (Yes, I've become the infamous "single woman with all her cats" at the age of 23).
There are no other people. Nobody to talk to about my day or hear about theirs. Nobody to cook dinner for or bake cookies for. And after 6 months of living alone, I realize how much I really don't like it.
Having lived with roommates or other families or in various homes in the Czech Republic and everywhere in between, I was ready for a "break" to have my own space. So, when this opportunity came up to live in this home by myself, I thought it was ideal. And, it has been a huge blessing in many ways.
But, there's something missing in not having people around. As hard as it was to share a room with another girl (or 2 or 3), there's something refreshing about it (and it makes you clean out your closet a whole lot more than usual). I try to have people over as often as possible, but it's just not the same as having another presence right here in the house.
More than anything, I miss the fellowship that being around others brings. God created us to live in community. It's what He uses to refine us, encourage us, challenge us, humble us, and most importantly, make us more like Jesus Christ.
I would venture to say that nearly every command in Scripture given to us involves other people, or at the very least is best implemented in our dealings with others. For example--being kind or patient or humble is easy when we are not accountable to anyone and are not affecting anyone in our unkindness, impatience or pride. It is so easy to become quickly deceived about who I am when it's just me, myself and I. And in this sense, it is far too easy to begin to think that I am kind or patient or humble when I am alone.
Because, after all...Who's going to tell me I'm wrong?
So, all this rambling has no purpose other than being reminded of and thankful for the way that our Creator has made us--for relationship. Yes, it gets messy at times and often feels like it's not worth the trouble. But, let me tell you--as one who has been walking likely the most "detached from relationships" path I have ever walked in my short life--it is worth it for what it produces in and through us. And it is the means that our Creator has wisely chosen to mold us into His likeness.
For me in this season, He's molding this people-person type of girl using the opposite means--by being alone more than I'd ever wish to be. I'm learning how to be okay with the quiet and how to make the most of those moments between just the Lord and me. I'm learning to choose to be refreshed by spending time in His Word and in fellowship with Him rather than always surrounding myself with people. Because the beautiful thing about God is that He always has so much more for us--more to learn about Him, others and ourselves; more to taste and see and experience of Him. So, while He created us to live in community and be in relationship with others, He also created us to only be completely satisfied in relationship with Him. Those relationships are meant to point us to more of Him and His nature. They are means to the most glorious end--knowing and loving our great God.
Separate. Disconnected. Removed.
Some people thrive off of time alone. While I do need that alone time to recharge every once in a while, I am most often recharged being around people.
I am an external processor--which is hard to do by yourself.
Absolute quiet makes me want to go crazy, while being around the chaos of kids or family fills my heart.
All this to say, I'm what most would call a "people person."
Since March, I have been living by myself. Well, with 2 cats--but we all know that doesn't count, right? (Yes, I've become the infamous "single woman with all her cats" at the age of 23).
There are no other people. Nobody to talk to about my day or hear about theirs. Nobody to cook dinner for or bake cookies for. And after 6 months of living alone, I realize how much I really don't like it.
Having lived with roommates or other families or in various homes in the Czech Republic and everywhere in between, I was ready for a "break" to have my own space. So, when this opportunity came up to live in this home by myself, I thought it was ideal. And, it has been a huge blessing in many ways.
But, there's something missing in not having people around. As hard as it was to share a room with another girl (or 2 or 3), there's something refreshing about it (and it makes you clean out your closet a whole lot more than usual). I try to have people over as often as possible, but it's just not the same as having another presence right here in the house.
More than anything, I miss the fellowship that being around others brings. God created us to live in community. It's what He uses to refine us, encourage us, challenge us, humble us, and most importantly, make us more like Jesus Christ.
I would venture to say that nearly every command in Scripture given to us involves other people, or at the very least is best implemented in our dealings with others. For example--being kind or patient or humble is easy when we are not accountable to anyone and are not affecting anyone in our unkindness, impatience or pride. It is so easy to become quickly deceived about who I am when it's just me, myself and I. And in this sense, it is far too easy to begin to think that I am kind or patient or humble when I am alone.
Because, after all...Who's going to tell me I'm wrong?
So, all this rambling has no purpose other than being reminded of and thankful for the way that our Creator has made us--for relationship. Yes, it gets messy at times and often feels like it's not worth the trouble. But, let me tell you--as one who has been walking likely the most "detached from relationships" path I have ever walked in my short life--it is worth it for what it produces in and through us. And it is the means that our Creator has wisely chosen to mold us into His likeness.
For me in this season, He's molding this people-person type of girl using the opposite means--by being alone more than I'd ever wish to be. I'm learning how to be okay with the quiet and how to make the most of those moments between just the Lord and me. I'm learning to choose to be refreshed by spending time in His Word and in fellowship with Him rather than always surrounding myself with people. Because the beautiful thing about God is that He always has so much more for us--more to learn about Him, others and ourselves; more to taste and see and experience of Him. So, while He created us to live in community and be in relationship with others, He also created us to only be completely satisfied in relationship with Him. Those relationships are meant to point us to more of Him and His nature. They are means to the most glorious end--knowing and loving our great God.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
What Remains True after 6 months of Grieving
Today marks 6 months since Mary passed away. 6 months since she entered the presence of God. Thinking about it in those terms seems so much sweeter.
For us, it's been 6 months of stumbling through each day, crying in the moments where it seems too hard to bear, trying to figure out how to pick up from here with her gone.
But, for her....every day, she is amazed again as she sees before her very eyes the God of the universe. Every moment, her heart is filled with inexpressible joy as she stands in the presence of her Savior. Her faith has become sight and she is well. She's been there 6 whole months and nothing about it is "getting old." Nothing about it seems too familiar to be amazed. She's never once wished she could come back to earth, even on the days we'd give anything to have her back.
Her kids started a new school year this week without their mom. I really cannot imagine what that is like--back to school shopping without mom, new teachers and friends without mom, another season of life without mom. My heart truly hurts for those boys.
But, I have to cling to this hope in the midst of it: there is more. There is more than what is seen, more than the pain that lingers and weighs heavily even after 6 months, more than 2 kids trying to get by without their mom. There is a God who loves those boys more than any person ever could--even Mary. He is still on His throne and He's pointing us to our Home beyond this earth.
I think if Mary could talk to us on days like today--ones where we relive every painful, nightmarish moment leading up to her leaving this earth; ones where we are reminded that this isn't just going to "go away"--she'd say something like this: It's going to be okay. I know it hurts and I know that you wish you could change things or somehow see the end of this story. But, please know that this God is everything He says He is. He really does love His children more than you could ever imagine and He really does work all things together for good in the end. Don't give up. It's worth every second of pain and suffering when you see what He's prepared for those who love Him, when you see Him.
So, that hope gets me through days like today. I know it will be worth it in the end--for her boys, for her sisters, for her friends, for every single person affected by this, and for the sake of the Kingdom for all eternity. It isn't just "okay" or "tolerable." It is best. And even after 6 months of wrestling through questions and coming up short on answers, I still believe that with all of my heart. Mary not only believes that from a distance, but sees it day in and day out. And someday we will too. I don't know exactly what that day will be like. But, I imagine it will be something like what Steven Curtis Chapman says:
For us, it's been 6 months of stumbling through each day, crying in the moments where it seems too hard to bear, trying to figure out how to pick up from here with her gone.
But, for her....every day, she is amazed again as she sees before her very eyes the God of the universe. Every moment, her heart is filled with inexpressible joy as she stands in the presence of her Savior. Her faith has become sight and she is well. She's been there 6 whole months and nothing about it is "getting old." Nothing about it seems too familiar to be amazed. She's never once wished she could come back to earth, even on the days we'd give anything to have her back.
Her kids started a new school year this week without their mom. I really cannot imagine what that is like--back to school shopping without mom, new teachers and friends without mom, another season of life without mom. My heart truly hurts for those boys.
But, I have to cling to this hope in the midst of it: there is more. There is more than what is seen, more than the pain that lingers and weighs heavily even after 6 months, more than 2 kids trying to get by without their mom. There is a God who loves those boys more than any person ever could--even Mary. He is still on His throne and He's pointing us to our Home beyond this earth.
I think if Mary could talk to us on days like today--ones where we relive every painful, nightmarish moment leading up to her leaving this earth; ones where we are reminded that this isn't just going to "go away"--she'd say something like this: It's going to be okay. I know it hurts and I know that you wish you could change things or somehow see the end of this story. But, please know that this God is everything He says He is. He really does love His children more than you could ever imagine and He really does work all things together for good in the end. Don't give up. It's worth every second of pain and suffering when you see what He's prepared for those who love Him, when you see Him.
So, that hope gets me through days like today. I know it will be worth it in the end--for her boys, for her sisters, for her friends, for every single person affected by this, and for the sake of the Kingdom for all eternity. It isn't just "okay" or "tolerable." It is best. And even after 6 months of wrestling through questions and coming up short on answers, I still believe that with all of my heart. Mary not only believes that from a distance, but sees it day in and day out. And someday we will too. I don't know exactly what that day will be like. But, I imagine it will be something like what Steven Curtis Chapman says:
Though this first taste is bitter
There will be sweetness forever
When we finally taste and see
That Our God is in control
And we’ll sing
Holy Holy Holy is in our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we’ll sing
Holy Holy Holy is our God
While we’re waiting for that day
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Sorrowful Rejoicing
The reality of the broken world in which we live has been increasingly evident to me the past few weeks. In fact, it seems that the older I get, the more I see the fallen state of this world.
I hear more and more stories of pain and suffering and death and disease in the lives of others; stories that simply make no sense and realities that are hard to swallow.
News reports become more grotesque and hard to believe (i.e. the story of what has happened in Norway recently).
I see the damaging effects of sin in relationships and the extent of sin that is present in people (myself included).
I know many who are in blatant sin and rebellion and completely blinded to their selfishness and I know even more (again, myself included) who are trying to call people out of that sin and rebellion and selfishness to no avail.
Even as I write this, I am holding back tears that have seemed to be more readily flowing lately. These instances just keep pouring in. Life is just really difficult sometimes.
And yet, in the midst of all of this, I am realizing that the older I get, the more I long for my Home. These stories point me to the reality of eternity in ways that nothing else can.
I ache for the day when all these wrongs will be made right.
I cling to the hope that someday, pain will be erased and joy will be complete, perfect, and unending.
And so, in the midst of the pain and discomfort and sorrow, I rejoice.
I rejoice because the things of this world are not ultimate. They are fleeting. They will soon pass and will usher in an inexpressible beauty and peace that can't even be imagined this side of heaven. And if I didn't feel the results of sin in such a real and present sense here on earth, I wonder that I would be able to fully love and appreciate and delight in what awaits.
I am realizing that maybe those things which are the most painful to bear, the most disheartening, are the very things that my Savior uses to remind me of all that He has won for all of eternity. They are the ever-present reminders that there is something more.
And so, these things become not just burdens to bear, but the very things in which I rejoice. They remind me that though I live in this world at present, my citizenship--my home--lies in the place I was created for, a place that will make every second of suffering more than worth it; a place that will make this very real and evident pain pale in comparison to the joy of eternity with our Savior that is set before us.
It's a sorrowful, beautiful, painful, devastating kind of rejoicing. And it's just another evidence of the great paradox those of us who are in Christ live in--who live in a broken and hurting world, and yet who live for an eternal and perfect Kingdom and the King who is still on His throne in the midst of it all.
"We are...as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything. " 2 Corinthians 6:10
I hear more and more stories of pain and suffering and death and disease in the lives of others; stories that simply make no sense and realities that are hard to swallow.
News reports become more grotesque and hard to believe (i.e. the story of what has happened in Norway recently).
I see the damaging effects of sin in relationships and the extent of sin that is present in people (myself included).
I know many who are in blatant sin and rebellion and completely blinded to their selfishness and I know even more (again, myself included) who are trying to call people out of that sin and rebellion and selfishness to no avail.
Even as I write this, I am holding back tears that have seemed to be more readily flowing lately. These instances just keep pouring in. Life is just really difficult sometimes.
And yet, in the midst of all of this, I am realizing that the older I get, the more I long for my Home. These stories point me to the reality of eternity in ways that nothing else can.
I ache for the day when all these wrongs will be made right.
I cling to the hope that someday, pain will be erased and joy will be complete, perfect, and unending.
And so, in the midst of the pain and discomfort and sorrow, I rejoice.
I rejoice because the things of this world are not ultimate. They are fleeting. They will soon pass and will usher in an inexpressible beauty and peace that can't even be imagined this side of heaven. And if I didn't feel the results of sin in such a real and present sense here on earth, I wonder that I would be able to fully love and appreciate and delight in what awaits.
I am realizing that maybe those things which are the most painful to bear, the most disheartening, are the very things that my Savior uses to remind me of all that He has won for all of eternity. They are the ever-present reminders that there is something more.
And so, these things become not just burdens to bear, but the very things in which I rejoice. They remind me that though I live in this world at present, my citizenship--my home--lies in the place I was created for, a place that will make every second of suffering more than worth it; a place that will make this very real and evident pain pale in comparison to the joy of eternity with our Savior that is set before us.
It's a sorrowful, beautiful, painful, devastating kind of rejoicing. And it's just another evidence of the great paradox those of us who are in Christ live in--who live in a broken and hurting world, and yet who live for an eternal and perfect Kingdom and the King who is still on His throne in the midst of it all.
"We are...as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything. " 2 Corinthians 6:10
Saturday, June 18, 2011
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