Today after work I had the unique and awesome opportunity to drive my 13-year-old nephew and his best friend down to Santa Monica to see his friend's mom who was diagnosed with cancer 2 weeks ago. I can't even begin to tell you how blessed I was to hang out with two 13-year-old boys. They were hilarious, extremely kind and respectful, and above all love Jesus so so much. They stand out far above any other Junior High boy I have ever met. How low of a standard we've set for boys in calling a stage of life "adolescence" and expecting little to nothing more than dirty talk among them. These guys are genuine and real and living for Christ and thinking deeply. And they are 13.
When we got down to the hospital to see my dear, sweet friend Mary who is like a sister to me, and a daughter to my parents, it hit me. These kids were experiencing life-shattering circumstances in their young lives; Situations that were causing them to turn to Jesus Christ as their Rock and Refuge and Hope. Man, how that radiated out of them. I sat on Mary's bed and we caught up on life while the boys sat in the corner and did their homework. Suddenly, this had become everyday life for them. 2 weeks ago, this was unthinkable; now, there's no other option. I watched as they joked around together, laughed, helped each other with homework--they were living. I really believe that without Jesus Christ, the story of Mary and her family today would look much different. It would be void of hope and joy and a reason to keep going. Because of Him, they have a story that has eternal implications. I've already seen how everything that has happened in Mary's life has sprung up changes that never would have come without it. Of course, I would NEVER wish that this would be God's way of bringing the changes needed. But, this is the way He has wisely and lovingly chosen and because of that, I have confidence that He is accomplishing things through it that are far above all that we could ever ask or imagine.
In the last few weeks, I've spent more time next to the hospital bed of a friend than I would ever desire or imagine even 2 weeks ago. But, God is good to have already begun to teach me through those times:
1) That He is wise in ways that are far beyond my understanding or comprehension. When I first heard about Mary, the best word I could use to describe the situation was "crazy"--foolish, unwise, a mistake, even wrong. But, from where I sit today, with looming unanswered questions and fears and worries, I can still say He is wise and loving in all He does. His wisdom and love have been seen by Mary and her family and the people around her in ways we couldn't see any other way.
2) That He is compassionate and merciful. One of my favorite verses, because of it's irony and baffling reasoning is James 5:11. "You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful." The first time I read that verse, I had to read it a few times and then I thought that perhaps the translation made a mistake, or that James did a typo when he was writing. Compassionate and merciful? I don't know about you, but when I think of the story of Job, compassionate and merciful are not the first two adjectives that come to mind when I think of how God worked in Job's life. But as I have dealt with suffering in my own life and have seen it in the lives of those around me, I see the veracity in it. In the midst of suffering the compassion and mercy of God is seen in more powerful ways than ever imagined before. In Mary's life, I've seen it when He brings the right doctor at just the right time, or the fact that His hand stopped the cancer in its tracks so that it didn't poison her entire body, or the things its doing in the lives of her family and friends in advancing the gospel the way it couldn't advance without suffering. The Lord is compassionate and merciful, especially in the midst of suffering.
3) I am a moment, He is forever. I feel like recognizing and living in the brevity of my life is something that I won't ever fully understand. We as humans have this mindset that we are invincible and that 80 or 90 years (if we make it that long) is like an eternity. We "live it up" and don't think about the fact that this life has been given to us by a Creator who sustains our every breath and heartbeat and that He could stop that heart from beating at any time. Psalm 103 is by far one of my favorite Psalms. One of the reasons is because it so powerfully illustrates the frailty of humanity and the infinite and eternal nature of God. His throne is established, He reigns over all, He has no beginning and no end. I am created, I am finite, I have a definite beginning and a definite end and then I am no more and only what I've done for this eternal and reigning God matters in the end. Mary's entire life changed literally in the blink of an eye. How foolish, how prideful for me to think my life is my own to live and to waste it on meaningless things. How am I living for the eternal today?
I am thankful for what God has done already in and through Mary and her story. If we had to take it all back and get Mary back to healthy and never let cancer take over her body, we would in an instant. I would beg for God to choose any other way to teach us these lessons. But, I trust Him. Mary trusts Him. And we continue to look to the Author of our lives and trust in His plan.
