Wanna know some of my least favorite verses in the Bible?
"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30
"Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:4
Before you dismiss me as a heretic for disliking these verses, let me explain.
First of all, I have these verses memorized and I have since high school. I didn't say they lack value or are somehow less God-inspired than other verses. I just have a really hard time agreeing with them. I mean...it's good in theory, right?
Wow, God looks more at my heart than what size of pants I fit into? And fearing the Lord is of more value than charm and beauty? That's actually really good news for us as women.
The problem is that we live in a world that stands absolutely antithetical to these verses. When a teenage girl is struggling with her identity and value, we can't just prescribe her some "it's your heart that matters" and send her into a world that tells her the exact opposite. AND, there are some women who break the mold of these verses completely.
We feel great talking about inner beauty until a girl walks in who is stunning on the outside--perfectly toned arms, beautiful skin, a glowing smile, on and on--AND has this amazing heart for Jesus.
My response?
"Really, Lord? If beauty is all about the heart, PLEASE tell me why you made some girls so incredibly beautiful. I mean have they EVER struggled with feeling inferior and unlovely and worthless?!"
There you have it. That's the honest truth. Those are my thoughts in those moments. It seems that those verses lose ALL their weight for me in those moments.
I've struggled with those thoughts for as long as I can remember. And I'm pretty sure most girls have, even the ones who seem--from every appearance--perfect.
Part of my frustration with those verses is that I want to be liberated by them. I desire to live like I really believe that it's true--that the cultivation of my heart is of infinitely more value than how I look. And there's been moments in the past couple of months where I've just wanted to know why my head and my heart just can't seem to connect on these verses.
I've given up trying to understand why God created some girls so stunningly beautiful without any effort while others struggle to find one good quality every time they look at a mirror. Yes, He has created each one of us unique and valuable in our own way. But, at the heart of it, sometimes those responses fall fatally short. And, in all honesty, I don't think there's an easy answer for those questions.
But....
I think there are 2 things that are essential for us as women if we are to move on from here and not get eaten alive by the lies the culture, our own minds, and the Enemy throw at us about what beauty is and what it isn't.
The first is simple, but it's essential. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Why? Because He's all that matters. The closer you get to HIS heart, the less you'll be consumed with YOUR physical appearance. It's crazy what our appearance-driven society has done to us. Somehow, we've bought into the lie that even Jesus was this blue-eyed, feather-haired, chiseled model who just happened to be God and love people and change the world. And now that you know some of my least favorite verses, I'll share with you one of my favorites:
....he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
and no beauty that we should desire him.
Isaiah 53:2
Wait--you mean Jesus wasn't an Abercrombie model with long, flowy hair? You mean, he didn't turn heads when He walked into a room because of how good-looking He was?
Well, that's what the Bible says about Him. And if Jesus is the Son of God and didn't have an external appearance that stunned the world, why do we expect to? Why do we place such value on that, when our King wasn't even desirable?
You can be sure that Jesus did turn heads when He walked into a room. And it was for reasons that were so much more valuable and powerful than his external appearance--He was showing people what God was like--even the beauty of God--and He didn't need physical attractiveness to do that. Think about that. There are so many implications wrapped up in that. And so much freedom. We've been given the same Spirit that dwelt within Jesus (Romans 8:11) and therefore have the same power to turn heads for the right reasons.
Secondly, we have got to stop comparing ourselves to one another. We're destroying ourselves and one another in the process. Fight that temptation with everything in you. Yes, it's hard for us as women to get around those thoughts. But, think back to that Spirit that's within you--He raised Christ from the dead. And He can resurrect your heart to love other girls more than you criticize and compare.
So...think about it....We have been set free to be vessels of beauty the way our Creator always intended for us to be. Let's live like it.
*My friend said some things about this in her blog that I love. You should check it out.
