No Greater Joy

My first trip to Czech in 2006, I met Mishka.  She is a Czech girl who has grown up in Germany.  She speaks more languages than I can pronounce and she's only 17.  At the time, she was 13 years old.  We were in the same room at camp and I can't stop thanking God that He allowed us to be together because in that room together, both my life and hers were changed.

The last night of camp is called "Gospel Night."  It's the wrap-up to whatever the theme of the week has been and in it, the students hear a very clear presentation of the Good News.  Afterward, the campers are encouraged to talk with someone or to think through the things they have heard and seen.  Mishka and I, kind of by accident, ran into each other in the hall and went to go talk.  I don't remember much of what we talked about, but I know that it was a conversation that changed everything.  That night, Mishka entered the family of God.

Since that day, I have watched Mish grow and be challenged, struggle and be encouraged, pray and seek God diligently.  I've never met someone who so deeply wants to know God and walk closely with Him.  She's never satisfied with where she's at in her walk with Him; she always wants more of Him.

I remember when she told me of her dream to be involved with worship.  She felt that God had placed this desire in her heart to be used by Him through music.  But, she didn't feel that she had the ability to do so.  But, her guitar skills continually improved and her heart for Him deepened.  And, here is a video of Mishka recently.  I was overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness as I watched this video and saw who God has grown Mishka into. 
 





 God has gifted Mishka in so many ways, her musical talent is just one of His evidences of his grace in her life.  Right now, she is in Czech serving the people there in a myriad of ways.  I am so proud of the young woman she has become.  I so resonate with John's words in 3 John 4 " I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."  God has allowed me to see Mishka grow up spiritually from day one until now and I am so thankful for that.  She continues to walk in the truth and to bring a smile to His face and to mine.  I love you, Mish!

Knowing Him

I'm constantly amazed at how often I need to be reminded of the absolute basics of living for Christ.  Yes, there are deeper truths that the Holy Spirit reveals to us as our journey with Him continues, but there is also this ongoing need for us to be grounded in the basics.

This weekend I was at a great little conference held at the US Center for World Missions for those who are looking to go out on the mission field in the near future. We had great speakers, great conversations, made great connections and were able to network people and resources.  But by about day 3, I was a bit overwhelmed talking about strategy and vision and methodology for mission.  I felt like my brain was swimming and I was desperately trying to sort through it all.

And then, the speaker for that night got up and was supposed to address the issue of what Western Missionaries need to do prepare to go on the mission field.  His response, in an hour-long sermon?

The disentangled Christ.

Suddenly it all clicked--strategy and vision and methodology are all good things to think about and discuss.  But, often Jesus gets tangled up in all of those things and suddenly, the very One we're trying to bring to the nations is wrapped up in all of these relative things.  But, Jesus is the only Absolute.  I can prepare for 10 years to go on the mission field, but if I am not seeking to know Jesus intimately, I have nothing to bring with me.  I don't want to be known for the program I'm trying to push or the great strategy I've thought of--I want to be known as one who knows and loves Jesus Christ.

It brought me back to the question that had been tormenting me--what is the biblical method for missions?  There are so many methods out there, but I just want to be faithful to what God wants.  But, I was brought to Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 2:1-2 :

And when I came to you, bretheren, I did not come with superiority

of speech or of wisdom, proclaiming to you the testimony of God.

For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified.

Paul's greatest concern wasn't a method or a strategy, because he knew those things could change and, most likely, would change.  But, the one thing he did seek--Jesus Christ and Him crucified.

He wanted to know the complete covering of Jesus' blood for him and for those to whom he was preaching.

He wanted to know the power of the resurrection, that conquered sin and death and gave him something to tell people and gave him the enabling power to tell them.

I believe that God gives us creativity and grace to think and plan and prepare for strategically extending the reach of the gospel to the ends of the earth.  He doesn't just lay out a "method" because He's created us to function and be effective in a variety of ways--ways that reflect His creativity and ingenuity and His ability to pierce dark places with the light of the gospel in endless ways.  

I came back to Jesus' warning in Matthew 7:21-23

Not everyone who says to Me, "Lord, Lord," will enter the kingdom of heaven,

but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.  

Many will say to me on that day, "Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name,

and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?"

And then I will declare to them, "I never knew you; Depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.

Wow...this verse just pierces my heart every time I read it.  I can't imagine coming before the Lord one day, claiming all the good "things" I've done in His name and yet having him look me in the eyes and tell me, "Emily, you may have done amazing things, but none of them mattered because you didn't know Me."  

So, that's where I sit today.  I just want to know Him.  Because, unless I've sought to know Him and unless everything else in my life flows out of a love for Him, none of it matters.  HE is what I am bringing to the nations; not a method or a ground-breaking strategy.

Lord, help me to know You--intimately, completely, purely.  Help me to know the Jesus at the cross and all that it implies.  Help me to walk into the empty tomb with your disciples and walk out in the power of your resurrection.  

Bought with a Price

I have a confession to make, one that may come as a shock to some of you, seeing the adventure I've been on lately. Ready for it? ... I MISS CZECH.  So much it really truly hurts.  The team from my church just got back from serving in Czech and doing English camp with my beloved Cheb brothers and sisters.  It's amazing how much God can grow your heart to love a country and the people in that country in such a short amount of time.  The first time I ever even heard about Czech Republic was when my brother went in 2005.  In 2006, I went and I have never been the same since.  It ruined me in the best way possible.  I couldn't bear to look at the world in the same way.  It no longer became political lines and a painful reminder of Junior High geography class.  The world became a place that desperately needs the good news of Jesus Christ, a huge globe filled with beautiful reminders of the creativity of God in every language and culture and face.  And that was just the first trip.

Next was the feeling that this foreign country with a crazy language and weird Easter traditions was like home to me.  I didn't want to leave, and when I did I couldn't wait to go back.  I could no longer walk through any public place without stalking someone who seemed to be speaking any sort of a Slavic language, hoping that it happened to be Czech and I could tell them how much I loved their country.  And then the confusion of where I belonged in this huge world.  And the painful yet hopeful reminder that I don't--anywhere.  That the One who is holding all these countries and people in his hand has created me for another world.

Then there was living in a new country, yet the one that had become so familiar to me.  There was trekking through snow and missing trains and always feeling a little out of place and confused; there was lives being transformed by the power of the gospel for the very first time, and lives that were being refined by that same power in new ways; calling people "mom" and "dad' that I had known only a few years, but being so loved and cared for by them that I had no other name to refer to them by.

Then there was the part I wasn't expecting or ready for in the least bit--letting go of all of those things: the comfort level I felt in a foreign place, the people that had become so much more than just a picture on a postcard or a statistic, and every conversation and memory I had with them--and I wasn't quite sure what letting go meant.  There was the realization that all of the things that I had prayed for and desired for the beautiful people I love so deeply were happening--growth was happening, believers felt the burden to reach their own people, discipleship continued, God was purifying His Church there.   Along with it came the pride that didn't want to admit that God was doing all of it without me.

But, I felt like Abraham--is He just asking me to let go to test me and see if I'll obey?  Or is he, like Abraham, asking me to give it all up and follow Him to a land I don't know?

Well, though God has continued to direct me to other places, I don't like to look at it as "letting go" of all of those things, because that implies a sense of loss.  I haven't "lost" those things--they are irreplaceable.  The lessons that I learned in Czech will be with me for the rest of my life and can never be forgotten.  The people that I have walked alongside of since my first summer there are people I will never forget.  They changed my life, just by watching theirs.

It's hard for me to believe that it's possible for me to ever love a country and a group of people as much as I love Czech Republic and the people there.  But, I know that God is capable of doing that.  He's the One that enabled me to love the people of Czech.  But, even if that deep sense of love and affection never comes, He brings me back to this simple realization: He has not called me to a place; He has called me to Himself.  That never changes.  But, with that calling comes this truth: "You are not your own, for you were bought with a price." (1 Corinthians 6:19)  I am His, I have been bought with His blood, and that means that I follow Him wherever He leads--even if it's away from where I so badly want to be.   

Beautiful Feet

“How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news…” Isaiah 52:7

This verse has always been somewhat entertaining for me; one, because I really don’t like feet and to call them beautiful is out of my realm.  But, more importantly, when I think about the feet of those who bring good news to people, the last thing I would think to call them is beautiful.  Dirty, rugged, tired, worn—that’s more what I picture.  And the past 6 weeks I finally understood how this paradox could be—and is—absolutely true. 

I visited 3 countries in Central Asia and walked rugged dirt roads along which millions and millions of people are lying in Spiritual darkness and are perishing without ever hearing the Good News about Jesus Christ.  At the end of the day my feet were dirty and tired—anything but beautiful.  They were far from having a fresh pedicure, which is what most would define as beautiful feet, especially in the US.  And yet, there was something beautiful about it.  Those dirty feet had walked among some of the poorest people in the world who still had smiles that showed all their missing teeth.  Those feet were tired because they had been walking for countless hours on rocky, dirt paths visiting people who desperately needed to know that Someone cared for them, especially enough to come and visit. 

It became more and more clear that the way the feet looked had nothing to do with their beauty; it was where those feet had walked that made them beautiful.  More and more, I longed to have beautiful feet—feet that walk where very few before have walked so that Good News may be brought to those that are lost in darkness.  Though my feet will look more and more worn and feel increasingly fatigued, there is a simple and profound beauty to feet that bring good news to places it has not yet gone.    

More than a Worthless Idol

"Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples!

For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; he is to be feared above all gods.  

For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols, but the Lord made the heavens."

Psalm 96:3-5

 Isn't it astonishing to worship a God who is greatly to be praised? A God who is to be feared above all gods?  If we truly believe that, why aren't we declaring his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples?  

Last night, I met a woman who is following a false god, a worthless idol.  A god who demands time and attention and worship and yet does nothing for his people.  I listened as she explained to me who Buddha is to her, how she lives for him.  Our family dinner at the Thai restaurant quickly turned to a discussion with this woman about her religion.  I kept asking her questions about her god and she tried her best to explain it to me in her broken English.  What I noticed about her description of Buddha is that she lived in a continual state of striving to live right before him, to meet all of his demands, to follow the tradition and ritual that her god expected--and yet this god had done nothing to meet her needs or be near to her.  

Did he humble himself and become a servant to reach you?

Did he take the punishment for your sins so that you might enter into relationship with him?

Did he send his spirit as a helper to teach and guide you in the truth?

Does he answer you when you call to him in prayer?

At the very least, did he live a life that is worthy of being followed?

At the end of our conversation, my Thai friend told me that there was once a Muslim man that tried to convert her to Islam.  She told him, "You have your god, I have mine." 

But, there is only one true God.  He made the heavens.  Then, he stepped down into a broken earth with broken people in order to redeem them and bring them back to himself.  Any other god is no god at all, rather a worthless idol.  And there are millions of people like my friend at the Thai restaurant last night that don't know this God.  Millions and millions of broken, hurting people who are attempting to follow a god who is never satisfied.  Millions of faces, hearts, families who don't know the one true God.  

So, is our God great enough that we will declare his glory among the nations?  Are his works marvelous in our eyes in such a way that we want to proclaim his works to those who have never heard?

There is only on God who is worthy of praise.  Let those of us who have met this God live like it. 

I'm Not Alright

The title to a Sanctus Real song is so simple and yet so poignantly true--I'm not alright.

I'm weak, frail, human.

I fail, disappoint, break.

The past few days I have been reminded of this in so many ways. You know it's bad when you cry uncontrollably over something trivial.  That was me this morning.  I had a bad first day of teaching, I hadn't gotten enough of my independent study class done or studied Greek enough (and classes start Monday), I was sick, and to top it all off, my bank totally messed me up--Isn't that reason for weeping?  Apparently my emotions thought so today.  Ugh.

I can go quite awhile thinking that I am alright.  I can get through a day, a week, maybe even a month on my own, fighting in my own strength.  But then it happens--I break and the longer I've been pretending, the greater the impact is.  Often times I not only break, but am shattered and crumble into innumerable pieces.  It takes a great work to pick all of those pieces up and create something useful,  much less beautiful. 

But, that's what my Creator does.  He breaks me down so that He can build me back up into what HE wants me to be--something more lovely,  a more valuable instrument in His hands. 

That's because He's the One that made me in the first place.  He knows my weakest points, the places in my heart that are the most tender, the areas that need the most refining.  So, as a Potter masterfully molds His clay, my Redeemer chips away the impurities, shaves off the jagged edges and doesn't stop until His work is finished.  And I'm thankful He does all of that not only with perfect precision, but also with great compassion.

"As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.  For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust." Psalm 103:13-14

He knows my frame--the weak, frail, human frame that I try so hard hide.  He created it that way so that He could be the Master and Healer, so that He would always and continually have to be the One I would run to. 

The lyrics to the song "I'm Not Alright" sum it all up:

If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
Then "cool" is just how far we have to fall
And I'm not immune, I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall

Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth I need to confess

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to You, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
And when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
Only You are there to lead me on.

'Cause honestly, I'm not that strong.

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
Broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to You
It leads me to You
Closer to You

And I'll move,
and I'll move,
and I'll move,
Closer to You (x3)

I'm not alright I'm broken inside
Broken inside
I'm broken inside, Broken inside
And all I go through leads me to You
Leads me to You

I'm not alright, I'm not alright
I'm not alright

... that's why I need You.

Though my flesh would like to tell me that I need to be strong and independent and "enough," I'm glad the Holy Spirit reminds me that I'm not.  I'm glad that He breaks me and exposes the weakest parts of me that I shamefully try to hide behind.  He doesn't stop there--as His light breaks through the cracks, His grace covers them and reminds me that though I am not enough and never could be--He is.

I NEED you, Lord.  Don't ever let me forget that.  Thank you that you have torn so that you may heal, that you have struck down in order to bind up. (Hosea 6:1)   

I'm Really Excited About This

This is what is on my mind lately.  In a few weeks, I get to go here.  Antalya, Turkey.  A family from church has invited me to go with them...for free.  I will have the opportunity to see the 7 churches of Revelation.  Yep, I'm pretty excited.