Writing as I wander

I've had a desire to start writing a blog for quite a while now--not because I think I have thoughts that are worth reading, but because I have so many thoughts that stay captive in my mind without ever being fully developed. Often times I am better at expressing my thoughts on paper (or in this case a webpage) than verbally and I want to be able to take the many thoughts that I have, as unnecessary as they are to the building up of mankind, and make them obedient to Christ for he's the only One who can fully know my mind anyway. Even if my blog is never read by anybody but myself, I want to be able to see my thoughts sorted out on paper.

I write as a vagabond because no matter how many thoughts I write down, I will never come to full understanding while on this earth because it's not my home. All my ramblings are but foolishness to an infinitely wise God. But, as I strive to walk as He walked, I find myself wandering. It is not the type of wandering that one does when lost, but the type of wondering one does when dissatisfied with half-hearted truths and incomplete understanding. I am constantly striving to know more about this God that I claim to follow and serve and though it is a straight, narrow, and clearly defined path, it is one with unexpected mountains and valleys that have to be conquered in order to continue. A vagabond is defined as a "drifter" and I think that some of the greatest men and women of the faith can be described in this way. They knew with full confidence the God that they loved and served and followed as closely as they could to Him. But, they lived in a world that never satisfied their hunger for more because it wasn't home. At the end of Hebrews 11, after the author describes men and women such as Enoch, Abraham, Moses, and Gideon who walked with an "assurance of things hoped for and a conviction of things not seen", he says that "they went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated--of whom the world was not worthy--wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth." They wandered. Not because they didn't know where to go next, but because the knowledge of where they were headed made them completely unsatisfied in a sinful and fallen world. I long to purposefully wander--to never become comfortable in a place that is not my home and yet to strive with assurance and diligence toward the goal. I'm so thankful that I don't have to try and figure it out on my own, but that He graciously makes straight my foolish and sinful path. Only by His grace do I have the hope of walking as a citizen worthy of a home that I could never obtain on my own, but that has granted me a hope that will not fail.
Learning to walk as He did,
Em