If you are a woman, please listen to this!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Ava
I really love being an aunt. I've talked about that before here (though quite out-dated, the reasons why I love them is still the same). One of the reasons I love it so much is that I get to see them grow up and see their little minds wrap around the idea of a big God who loves them. I love seeing it through their eyes; it's all so much more simple. Ava is 4 and is asking lots of questions about Jesus lately. I love them all. Sometimes it's good to get back to the basics.
He loves me.
He made me.
I can talk to Him anytime I want.
Those are the lessons Ava is learning for the very first time. And they are lessons I want to come back to often.
I pray that beautiful little Ava grows up to be a woman who loves God and seeks Him and finds her beauty in Him. Until then, I love seeing the process as she begins to understand who He is. And I love all that I am being reminded of in the process.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Singleness
Do you want to be single forever?
I've been asked this question quite frequently lately, in one form or another. It's a fair question. I'm 23 years old, planning on moving overseas in the not-so-distant future, no prospective husbands in sight. I mean, I attended a Christian college and graduated, no ring by Spring! So, I completely understand why the question is being asked.
The responses are different. Some think I'm being too picky. Some think I'm portraying myself as too independent and confident. Some think it's just a matter of time. There may be truth to all of those things to some degree. But, the real issue in my mind is that I believe that God has called me to go overseas and serve as a missionary. The burden on my heart is heavy, the excitement and anticipation is growing. And, I believe He's called me to that regardless of whether or not I have a man by my side.
When I first sat down with my missions' pastor to talk about my desire for missions, one of the first questions he asked was, "Are you willing to go as a single woman and take on all that it implies?" It was a very important question, for many reasons.
One is that moving overseas as a single woman significantly lowers the number of male suitors. I just read an article today stating that single women on the mission field outnumber men 4 to 1! Based on my experience, I would have to agree. Of all the countries and missionaries I've visited, I can count on one hand the number of single missionary men I have met. (And even some of them have since gotten married.) Single women on the mission field though? I would have to sit down and figure it out. But, it's significantly more than men.
The second reason my missions' pastor wanted me to figure out if this is really something I am fit to do is that being single on the mission field is a lonely place to be. A new culture, new language, new food, loss of comfort and identity; those all add up to fear, frustration, struggle. And if you are single, you don't have a spouse to share it with. You may or may not have roommates. You may or may not have a deep connection with your roommates.
So, what's the solution?
Well, here's what I believe to be my solution, for me personally.
God has called me to be obedient and faithful. And I believe He's called me to go overseas, single or married. I don't think He's called me to stay in America until I get married, and He hasn't called me to settle for marriage if it's to a man who doesn't have a heart for missions. So, I have to come to terms with the fact that going overseas may mean that I never get married.
Honestly, I don't think that one is better than the other. They are just different. (Although, Paul's argument in 1 Corinthians 7 does seem to point to one being better. But, that's a different discussion.)
As a single woman, I can devote all my time and energy to loving and serving the people group I am working with. I can focus on language and culture-learning and still have time to build relationships.
As a married woman, my time and energy must first be devoted to loving and serving my husband and kids, and then to loving and serving the people we are working with.
As a single woman, I can proclaim the gospel in showing how fulfilling and satisfying Jesus Christ is. I can show that He is enough.
As a married woman, our relationship will be a proclamation of the gospel in showing how Christ loves His Church.
I'll be honest; I love being free and independent. I love being spontaneous. I love having time to myself. I love the freedom I have for ministry and how much time I can pour into others. I know that in marriage, a lot of those things have to be surrendered, or at least changed drastically.
At the same time, I love cooking and baking and would love to be able to do those things for a husband someday. I love kids and I would love to raise my own. I love serving and helping and I would love to serve and help a husband. Having a companion for life would be sweet.
I have enough married friends and enough single friends in their 30s to know that both singleness and marriage have unique blessings and struggles. I also know that whether single or married, God has me there for a reason. I do believe that He's big enough to provide a husband for me even if I move overseas, if that is what He wants.
So, I don't know what the Lord has planned for me personally. But, I know that whether single or married, my desire is to serve Him wholeheartedly. I do know that for now, His plan for me is to be a single woman. And His calling for me as a single woman is this:
"...The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit..." 1 Corinthians 7:34
I've been asked this question quite frequently lately, in one form or another. It's a fair question. I'm 23 years old, planning on moving overseas in the not-so-distant future, no prospective husbands in sight. I mean, I attended a Christian college and graduated, no ring by Spring! So, I completely understand why the question is being asked.
The responses are different. Some think I'm being too picky. Some think I'm portraying myself as too independent and confident. Some think it's just a matter of time. There may be truth to all of those things to some degree. But, the real issue in my mind is that I believe that God has called me to go overseas and serve as a missionary. The burden on my heart is heavy, the excitement and anticipation is growing. And, I believe He's called me to that regardless of whether or not I have a man by my side.
When I first sat down with my missions' pastor to talk about my desire for missions, one of the first questions he asked was, "Are you willing to go as a single woman and take on all that it implies?" It was a very important question, for many reasons.
One is that moving overseas as a single woman significantly lowers the number of male suitors. I just read an article today stating that single women on the mission field outnumber men 4 to 1! Based on my experience, I would have to agree. Of all the countries and missionaries I've visited, I can count on one hand the number of single missionary men I have met. (And even some of them have since gotten married.) Single women on the mission field though? I would have to sit down and figure it out. But, it's significantly more than men.
The second reason my missions' pastor wanted me to figure out if this is really something I am fit to do is that being single on the mission field is a lonely place to be. A new culture, new language, new food, loss of comfort and identity; those all add up to fear, frustration, struggle. And if you are single, you don't have a spouse to share it with. You may or may not have roommates. You may or may not have a deep connection with your roommates.
So, what's the solution?
Well, here's what I believe to be my solution, for me personally.
God has called me to be obedient and faithful. And I believe He's called me to go overseas, single or married. I don't think He's called me to stay in America until I get married, and He hasn't called me to settle for marriage if it's to a man who doesn't have a heart for missions. So, I have to come to terms with the fact that going overseas may mean that I never get married.
Honestly, I don't think that one is better than the other. They are just different. (Although, Paul's argument in 1 Corinthians 7 does seem to point to one being better. But, that's a different discussion.)
As a single woman, I can devote all my time and energy to loving and serving the people group I am working with. I can focus on language and culture-learning and still have time to build relationships.
As a married woman, my time and energy must first be devoted to loving and serving my husband and kids, and then to loving and serving the people we are working with.
As a single woman, I can proclaim the gospel in showing how fulfilling and satisfying Jesus Christ is. I can show that He is enough.
As a married woman, our relationship will be a proclamation of the gospel in showing how Christ loves His Church.
I'll be honest; I love being free and independent. I love being spontaneous. I love having time to myself. I love the freedom I have for ministry and how much time I can pour into others. I know that in marriage, a lot of those things have to be surrendered, or at least changed drastically.
At the same time, I love cooking and baking and would love to be able to do those things for a husband someday. I love kids and I would love to raise my own. I love serving and helping and I would love to serve and help a husband. Having a companion for life would be sweet.
I have enough married friends and enough single friends in their 30s to know that both singleness and marriage have unique blessings and struggles. I also know that whether single or married, God has me there for a reason. I do believe that He's big enough to provide a husband for me even if I move overseas, if that is what He wants.
So, I don't know what the Lord has planned for me personally. But, I know that whether single or married, my desire is to serve Him wholeheartedly. I do know that for now, His plan for me is to be a single woman. And His calling for me as a single woman is this:
"...The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit..." 1 Corinthians 7:34
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Earnest Prayer for the Persecuted
Yesterday I came across this verse in Acts 12:5
How often do you think of other followers of Christ all over the world who are being daily tortured, beaten, murdered for the sake of the gospel?
Now, how often are you praying for them?
I know that the answer for me is: little to never. And I'm ashamed of that. Someday I am going to stand in the presence of these brothers and sisters, hearing their stories of how much they endured for the sake of Jesus Christ while I sat in the comfort and ease of America, neglecting to earnestly pray for them.
So, where do we begin? What do we pray for?
Our first thought is to pray for the persecution to stop. But, that's not what they want us to pray.
A few years ago, I had the privilege to be at a gathering of church leaders from all over the Middle East, Central Asia and North Africa--all home to some of the most persecuted believers in the world. You would never know just by looking at their faces the torment and pain and fear that they face on a daily basis. Without fail, each got up and asked for prayer for those they knew that were imprisoned or were facing death sentences. They asked for boldness and continued opportunities to share about Jesus. What they never asked for was that the persecution would stop. In fact, a man from Iran got up and said, "I know you'll be tempted to pray that we would be freed from persecution. But, please do not pray for that. Pray that persecution would continue, but that we would remain faithful in the midst of it and that God would use our suffering to advance the gospel."
What a stark contrast that is to our natural inclination to comfort and avoidance of anything even slightly painful. We have much to learn from their faith and perseverance.
...So Peter was kept in prison, but earnest prayer
was made to God by the church....
How often do you think of other followers of Christ all over the world who are being daily tortured, beaten, murdered for the sake of the gospel?
Now, how often are you praying for them?
I know that the answer for me is: little to never. And I'm ashamed of that. Someday I am going to stand in the presence of these brothers and sisters, hearing their stories of how much they endured for the sake of Jesus Christ while I sat in the comfort and ease of America, neglecting to earnestly pray for them.
So, where do we begin? What do we pray for?
Our first thought is to pray for the persecution to stop. But, that's not what they want us to pray.
A few years ago, I had the privilege to be at a gathering of church leaders from all over the Middle East, Central Asia and North Africa--all home to some of the most persecuted believers in the world. You would never know just by looking at their faces the torment and pain and fear that they face on a daily basis. Without fail, each got up and asked for prayer for those they knew that were imprisoned or were facing death sentences. They asked for boldness and continued opportunities to share about Jesus. What they never asked for was that the persecution would stop. In fact, a man from Iran got up and said, "I know you'll be tempted to pray that we would be freed from persecution. But, please do not pray for that. Pray that persecution would continue, but that we would remain faithful in the midst of it and that God would use our suffering to advance the gospel."
What a stark contrast that is to our natural inclination to comfort and avoidance of anything even slightly painful. We have much to learn from their faith and perseverance.
Let us not neglect our brothers and sisters all over the world who, even now, are facing pain--even death--on account of Christ. They need our earnest, consistent, bold prayers. We serve the same God, no matter how great of a distance separates us.
"...Keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak..." {Philippians 6.18-21}
*Voice of the Martyr's is a great tool to get started praying for persecuted brothers and sisters. They have an e-newsletter you can sign up for and send out daily tweets about the persecuted Church.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Overwhelmed
Yesterday was one of those days in which I felt overwhelmed with life. Sometimes it just hurts, ya know? A family friend passed away and though she was 93 and headed to meet her Savior, it's never easy to say goodbye. Poor little Nik cried himself to sleep because he missed his mommy. Needless to say, it was a rough day. One for the books.
Then today came. It was an early morning, which are always difficult for me (I'm totally not a morning person!). But, His mercies were new and they shone so very brightly into my weary and burdened heart.
Nik wanted to bring his Bible to school this morning and he read Scripture to me on the short drive to school. His heart is hungering more and more after God's Word and my heart is more and more encouraged by it.
My parents and sister and I went down to UCLA for a doctor's appointment for my sweet mom who has Parkinson's Disease. We were all faced with the painful reminder that it's a progressive disease, that her earthly body is never going to be perfectly "ok" again. And yet, there we sat in the doctor's office, laughing, enjoying one another, uncertain of, but not fearful for the future.
God reminded me through phone calls and texts from friends, time with family, worship music we listened to in the car, and His Word that He is good. His kindness never ends. He is faithful in every season.
He has promised in His Word that "goodness and mercy shall follow [literally pursue] me all the days of my life." (Psalm 23:6) And He has proven that promise moment by moment, day by day in more ways than I can ever hope to express.
He pursued me to rescue my soul from death and He will continue to pursue me in goodness and mercy forever. I can think of nothing more sweet.
Then today came. It was an early morning, which are always difficult for me (I'm totally not a morning person!). But, His mercies were new and they shone so very brightly into my weary and burdened heart.
Nik wanted to bring his Bible to school this morning and he read Scripture to me on the short drive to school. His heart is hungering more and more after God's Word and my heart is more and more encouraged by it.
My parents and sister and I went down to UCLA for a doctor's appointment for my sweet mom who has Parkinson's Disease. We were all faced with the painful reminder that it's a progressive disease, that her earthly body is never going to be perfectly "ok" again. And yet, there we sat in the doctor's office, laughing, enjoying one another, uncertain of, but not fearful for the future.
God reminded me through phone calls and texts from friends, time with family, worship music we listened to in the car, and His Word that He is good. His kindness never ends. He is faithful in every season.
He has promised in His Word that "goodness and mercy shall follow [literally pursue] me all the days of my life." (Psalm 23:6) And He has proven that promise moment by moment, day by day in more ways than I can ever hope to express.
He pursued me to rescue my soul from death and He will continue to pursue me in goodness and mercy forever. I can think of nothing more sweet.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Time
I find myself wrestling over and over again with the timing of the Lord. In my human impatience and anxiety, I want to know now. But, God doesn't seem to be as concerned with the timing as he is with the outcome. He knows the number of days, minutes, seconds that are needed in the fulfillment of his purposes in my life. He doesn't delay a single moment. From where I sit today, there are quite a few circumstances in which I wish I could fast-forward 5, 10, 20 years and see the outcome. But, from where He sits, the beginning and the end are clear and the process of getting from where I am today to where He wants me to be is one of waiting on Him. He knows exactly how long it will take and the conditions along the way that will bring about the end result.
Here are some of my favorite verses lately about His perfect timing:
Here are some of my favorite verses lately about His perfect timing:
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace....
He has made everything beautiful in its time."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8,11
When I look at each of the "times" that God has ordained, I am humbled. Each of those seasons are part of His plan. He doesn't want to skip over the season for weeping to get back to laughing again. He doesn't want to start building up before the season for breaking down is over. Each of those are beautiful in their own right, none more beautiful than the other. There is always something that He has for me in each and every season He has planted me in and I don't want to skip over it just to get to the next season.
Habakkuk also wrestled with the timing of the Lord and went to God often with His fear and desire for immediate justice. "Come on, God. This surely can't be what you have planned, everything just seems to be going bad all around me." And then, God answers him, saying that his plan is good, but too good for Habakkuk to understand with his human mind from where he stands. Habakkuk answers again, "Ok, Lord. I get it. You're good, your ways are beyond me....but, seriously, how long are you going to let this go on for?" And, then God responds in this way:
For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
it hastens to the end--it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it;
it will surely come; it will not delay.
I love God's response. He doesn't tell Habakkuk when His plan will be fulfilled or even how; just that it will be fulfilled and at exactly the right moment. Habakkuk continues to wrestle with God, but finally comes to the conclusion that he still has so much to rejoice in because the goodness and faithfulness of God is still evident, even in seeming desolate seasons.
Finally, there is this little gem of a passage in Malachi 3:2-3
For He [the Lord] is like a refiner's fire and fullers' soap.
He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver,
and he will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver,
and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the Lord."
His goal is refining us until we are ready to come to Him with offerings of righteousness. Wow. What a wise and patient God. A refiner sitting down, holding silver over a flame, watching all of the imperfections bleed out until the desired result is accomplished--that's what my Heavenly Father does with me. He sees the beauty that is hidden underneath and is willing to sit next to the flame until that beauty comes through brilliantly; He knows exactly how long that will take and He sits there patiently until just the right moment.
My Father understands time in a way that is so different than I do--and I love Him for it. Just another proof of how worthy He is of my praise and adoration; He is so unlike me, so wise in all He does, so unlimited by minutes and hours and days and years. So, like Habakkuk, I will rejoice in the Lord though I don't understand all of his ways. I will look forward in anticipation to the revelation of His plan, but I will wait with quiet patience and joy because of who God is and what He's already done today.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Someday
It's just been one of those days. You know, the ones where you wish you could just crawl back into bed, escape the world, pretend like reality isn't really what it seems, maybe shed a few tears in the middle of all that?
For those of you who don't know about my latest adventure, it's been the most....(for lack of a better word) mixed....experience of my life. Devastating. Hopeful. Unspeakably difficult. Incredibly rewarding. Exhausting. And even more emotions than I really know how to express. Sometimes it's all of these emotions within the same 5 minutes.
I am the "nanny" for Mary's kids. {For the record, I hate the word "nanny." It sounds so impersonal to me. But, that's not what I'm here to write about. Not today anyway. :) }
Every day, I look into the faces of two boys who just lost their mom. Not a moment goes by that I don't think of Mary, miss her, and ache for eternity. Most days, we go through our routine, the "new normal." It's never easy. But some days--like today--that pain is even deeper and more prevalent. The Lord has been gracious and has proven faithful in giving me exactly what I need to face each day. Nothing more. Nothing less. But some days, the tears are harder to hold back than usual. I mean, what do you say to a 7-year-old who is crying, saying "I miss mommy"? How do you let a junior high boy know that it's okay to cry?
I have so many questions. Almost all of them are unanswered. Why did Mary have to suffer as she did? Why did she have to die so young with two kids who need her? What does God have planned for her kids? Who will they become and how is God going to use this in their story? Will it end with their hearts being bitter towards Him? Or will they someday say, "God is enough. He is good. His plans for my life are good. I will follow Him to the very end."
Over and over again, God reminds me that these things take time. I don't know what the end of this story looks like. But I know it's not over. And I have full confidence that all of it will not be wasted in the hands of a sovereign and loving God. He has a purpose that cannot be thwarted and I have to believe that even when it's difficult to feel it.
The following lyrics are from Nichole Nordeman's song "Someday." It's pretty much where I'm at right now:
Today, I'm just waiting for Someday. But I know it's coming. That's the beauty of it all. Because of what Jesus has done on my behalf, I know that Someday is coming. The day when I will see the fullness of God's plan. The day when I will see clearly the end from the start. The day when questions won't even matter anymore because I will be standing before Him, seeing just how good and beautiful He is. My faith shall become sight and I won't have to fumble in the darkness of uncertainty any longer. I long for that day with everything in me. If I didn't have the assurance that Someday was coming, I don't know how I could face today. But the hope I have in knowing it's coming changes everything.
So...bring it on, temporary life! You are quickly fading, but what awaits far outweighs every tear and seemingly unbearable moment. You may have me for 70, 80, even 90 years, but Jesus has me for eternity. And all you can try to rob me of here can't take away what I already have in Him forever.
"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18
For those of you who don't know about my latest adventure, it's been the most....(for lack of a better word) mixed....experience of my life. Devastating. Hopeful. Unspeakably difficult. Incredibly rewarding. Exhausting. And even more emotions than I really know how to express. Sometimes it's all of these emotions within the same 5 minutes.
I am the "nanny" for Mary's kids. {For the record, I hate the word "nanny." It sounds so impersonal to me. But, that's not what I'm here to write about. Not today anyway. :) }
Every day, I look into the faces of two boys who just lost their mom. Not a moment goes by that I don't think of Mary, miss her, and ache for eternity. Most days, we go through our routine, the "new normal." It's never easy. But some days--like today--that pain is even deeper and more prevalent. The Lord has been gracious and has proven faithful in giving me exactly what I need to face each day. Nothing more. Nothing less. But some days, the tears are harder to hold back than usual. I mean, what do you say to a 7-year-old who is crying, saying "I miss mommy"? How do you let a junior high boy know that it's okay to cry?
I have so many questions. Almost all of them are unanswered. Why did Mary have to suffer as she did? Why did she have to die so young with two kids who need her? What does God have planned for her kids? Who will they become and how is God going to use this in their story? Will it end with their hearts being bitter towards Him? Or will they someday say, "God is enough. He is good. His plans for my life are good. I will follow Him to the very end."
Over and over again, God reminds me that these things take time. I don't know what the end of this story looks like. But I know it's not over. And I have full confidence that all of it will not be wasted in the hands of a sovereign and loving God. He has a purpose that cannot be thwarted and I have to believe that even when it's difficult to feel it.
The following lyrics are from Nichole Nordeman's song "Someday." It's pretty much where I'm at right now:
I believe in the rest of the story
I believe there's still ink in the pen
I have wasted my very last day
Trying to change what happened way back when
I believe there's still ink in the pen
I have wasted my very last day
Trying to change what happened way back when
I believe it's the human condition
We all need to have answers to why
More than ever, I'm ready to say that I
Will still sleep peacefully
With answers out of reach from me until
We all need to have answers to why
More than ever, I'm ready to say that I
Will still sleep peacefully
With answers out of reach from me until
Someday all that's crazy
All that's unexplained
Will fall into place
And someday all that's hazy
Through a clouded glass
Will be clear at last
And sometimes we're just waiting
For someday
All that's unexplained
Will fall into place
And someday all that's hazy
Through a clouded glass
Will be clear at last
And sometimes we're just waiting
For someday
We are born with a lingering hunger
We are born to be unsatisfied
We are strangers who can't help but wander
And dream about the other side of
We are born to be unsatisfied
We are strangers who can't help but wander
And dream about the other side of
Someday all that's crazy
All that's unexplained
Will fall into place
And someday all that's hazy
Through a clouded glass
Will be clear at last
And sometimes we're just waiting
For someday
All that's unexplained
Will fall into place
And someday all that's hazy
Through a clouded glass
Will be clear at last
And sometimes we're just waiting
For someday
Every puzzle's missing piece
Every unsolved mystery
More than half of every whole
Rests in the Hands that hold you for someday
Every unsolved mystery
More than half of every whole
Rests in the Hands that hold you for someday
Today, I'm just waiting for Someday. But I know it's coming. That's the beauty of it all. Because of what Jesus has done on my behalf, I know that Someday is coming. The day when I will see the fullness of God's plan. The day when I will see clearly the end from the start. The day when questions won't even matter anymore because I will be standing before Him, seeing just how good and beautiful He is. My faith shall become sight and I won't have to fumble in the darkness of uncertainty any longer. I long for that day with everything in me. If I didn't have the assurance that Someday was coming, I don't know how I could face today. But the hope I have in knowing it's coming changes everything.
So...bring it on, temporary life! You are quickly fading, but what awaits far outweighs every tear and seemingly unbearable moment. You may have me for 70, 80, even 90 years, but Jesus has me for eternity. And all you can try to rob me of here can't take away what I already have in Him forever.
"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18
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